In the last year, we’ve heard the term crawling throughout our feeds. The girl who’s not male-centered, always stands by her women, never judgmental or insecure and makes sure to never seek unnecessary attention. And God forbid she’s ever the opposite: a “pick-me girl.”
While there is good intention behind the term, it would be false to assume that women have never had those experiences. That they’ve never felt jealousy, insecurity or competition or craved validation. The label has become tied to how good someone’s morals are and, at times, is even used to fuel girl-on-girl competition. But why do we place so much importance on the term? And is it possible to be a girls’ girl all the time?
In my opinion, I think that the words stem from the pressure women face to always be perfect. Women’s friendships are dissected and picked apart, with one wrong move landing you in the hot seat. We should always speak out for each other and constantly have each other’s backs through thick and thin. But what’s to say about the outliers of this concept? We know all too well that as humans, we aren’t perfect, and as such, mistakes often deserve consequences that may require us to re-evaluate our role as a “girls’ girl.” While staunch support for your peers is one thing, holding them accountable when required is another. And often, under a microscope, that accountability can be misconstrued as girl-on-girl hate, when in reality, being able to check your friends is vital for supporting them.
Then there’s the argument that true girls’ girls never acknowledge the term, often believing that actions speak for themselves. This I also believe to be somewhat true, as I don’t think that basic human decency needs any titles, but there’s a part of me that also finds comfort in the saying. I think it can be nice that women can refer to something that is exclusive to them. One thing that, through it all, can’t be completely shattered by men. A term for the times when you catch a stray hair, make room for others to take up space and ride for your people. More than just an internet catchphrase, the words are a reminder of how special female friendships really are.
In a world that is already endlessly tough on us, with systems built against us and spaces that were made to make us feel small, we as women have found solace in the term that labels the way in which we look out for one another and become each other’s safe space.
Because if we aren’t looking out for each other, then who will?