His skin is a little smoother, his smile a little brighter, and his eyes are a little bit dreamier than all of those other suitors from the past. His texts bright up our phones a little brighter, and his presence makes our days a little better. You know that person you’re picturing? The name you always scroll for under your Snapchat story viewers? The only Instagram like that matters ever? Well, even though he probably uses cologne as a reasonable alternative for a morning shower and wears a pair of pants 10 times before washing them, in your eyes he’s a catch. Maybe this guy is your friend, your current 2 a.m. text or your random classmate who held the door open for you once. Either way, he has snuggled a nice comfy resting place in your brain, and you can’t seem to shake him. Although there is no official protocol for how to handle this situation, here’s how to properly nourish your low-key obsession.
Change his name in your phone
Your young little heart flutters every time his name flashes across your phone screen, and that is exactly the problem. You are emotionally invested in that name and the perceived significance behind it. Maybe this stems from commitment issues or problems caused from letting emotional barriers down too quickly, but trust me, that name is poison. Giving him a name makes this boy all too real in life. It makes him a living, breathing guy who could easily crush your heart that you will probably hand over to him willingly if given the opportunity. To combat this false creation of closeness with a guy who might not reciprocate your feelings, just change his name to remind yourself who you’re honestly really talking with. He’s no longer Mike — he is now “Boy Who Maybe Doesn’t Like Me,” “Do Not Text When Drunk” or “Seems Nice For Now.” And just like that, the heart flutters will decrease.
Remember he is human
Although he seems like a superhuman with porcelain skin, pearly teeth and supermodel hair, he is just a dude — a boxer-brief wearing, stubbly-when-not-shaven dude who gets morning breath, ugly zits and gas when he eats too much Chipotle. This isn’t meant to demean your obsession or to make him appear gross. It’s meant for you to realize that he is still a human with human functions and flaws and insecurities. We so often place people we desire to be with on a pedestal right when we meet them and assume they can do no wrong, but that is not realistic and not fair. He might legitimately forget to text you back sometimes. He might not think your passion for Pinterest crafts is interesting. It’s not mean or rude or wrong — it’s just human, and remembering that will tone down how intimidating this guy seems.
Don’t force it
When a guy seems perfect for you, you want to believe so badly that you may find yourself thinking you have more in common than you really do. Just because you coincidentally are from the same hometown does not mean you both had the same childhood experiences, and it doesn’t mean you should fake that you did. Similarly, if he really loves cars, you do not need to spend your free time Googling car facts to keep up in conversation with him. If you find yourself having to rely on search engines and friends’ answers when talking to him, then maybe you don’t have enough genuine interests in common. Or maybe those interests don’t matter. Regardless, if you are a raging crochet fanatic and make baby blankets in your free time, do not be scared to tell him that’s how you sometimes spend your Saturdays. If this dream guy can’t handle your quirks, he definitely does not deserve your great sense of humor and kindness that you’re ready to hand to him on a silver platter.
Get off your phone
It is way too easy to stalk all of his social media accounts and spend hours stalking his friends, his ex-girlfriend he went to prom with, his mom and younger brother. As endearing as it is that you take an extreme interest in this guy, do not go searching for all of this personal data and go social media crazy. Maybe he was fat and awkward in high school. Maybe he had a girlfriend just two months ago, or maybe he hasn’t uploaded a picture since 2013. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Get him off of your phone so you can get him out of your mind. Until of course he becomes your boyfriend and then fiancé and then husband one day. Then stalk away, ladies.
It happens to us all. We all eventually meet that one person who we just feel we need to have all of the time. It is not healthy to obsess, and we are all guilty of falling prey to it at times, but it is important to remember the balance of body and soul.
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