Of course, we’re all the main characters of our stories. But let’s be real, some days we feel like we are just an extra in someone else’s movie. We live in an era where life feels like a montage: coffee in the morning, a sweaty yoga class, journaling at sunset and a random Pinterest quote to top it all off. The problem? Sometimes the montage is all style and no story.
The Allure of Being the Main Character
Main character energy is appealing because it feels good to maybe change this wording. Centering your own life can be a bit confusing; examples include “star in your own life” and “focus on yourself.” You get to prioritize yourself, make decisions for your happiness and embrace your quirks without apology. It’s empowering, especially in your twenties when you’re still figuring out who you are. Posting aesthetic photos, treating yourself or calling your friends for spontaneous adventures is all part of owning your narrative. Life feels cinematic, magical and completely yours, and for a while, that’s wonderful.
But the keyword here is for a while.
When the Montage Becomes a Mess
The problem comes when “living your best life” turns into over-dramatizing every moment. You start seeing conflict where there isn’t any, overthink texts and turn minor inconveniences into full-blown plot twists.” Suddenly, your life looks chaotic, not because it is, but because your main character energy lacks direction. If the main character in a movie kept daydreaming about change but never took a single step toward it, the story would drag and we would stop watching. At some point, you need action, not just an aesthetic.
No One Has the Plot Figured Out in Their Twenties
Turning 20 (or being somewhere close) feels like standing at the start of a brand-new chapter. It’s exciting but also kind of terrifying because you’re no longer the teenage version of yourself, but you’re still figuring out what “adult you” looks like. The good news? Your twenties are the perfect time to start building your plot. You don’t need to have everything figured out yet, but you do need to start.
Make mistakes, try new things, fall in and out of routines and explore who you are when no one’s watching. Growth isn’t always glamorous; it’s sometimes lonely, confusing and messy, but that’s what makes it real. The plot isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. Instead of focusing on looking like the main character, focus on becoming one—the kind who learns, evolves and keeps moving forward.
Find Your Plot
You can still have main character energy without turning your life into a never-ending TikTok drama. The trick is pairing confidence and self-awareness with intention and growth. You have to ask yourself: what’s your story actually about? What are you learning, building or creating? The main character doesn’t just exist to be seen; she moves forward, makes choices and navigates challenges. That’s the plot. It doesn’t have to be anything grand; the plot can be small, like finishing a project, improving your mental health, reconnecting with friends or learning a new skill. It’s about depth, not just aesthetics.
How to Own Your Main Character Energy the Right Way
- Prioritize Growth: Think about what you’re learning or building in your story. Make your actions count.
- Balance Drama with Reality: It’s okay to be cinematic, but don’t exaggerate conflicts that don’t exist.
- Celebrate the Small Wins: Your plot doesn’t have to be epic because finishing an assignment, cooking a new recipe or trying a new workout all count.
- Be Present: Enjoy the coffee, the sunset and the playlist, but don’t let them replace actually living your life.
Choose the Plot Over the Montage
Being the main character is empowering, but it’s even better when your story has depth. Confidence, self-expression and aesthetic vibes are great, but without intentionality and growth, it’s all just a series of pretty clips. So yes, post your sunset selfies, blast your favorite songs and drink your oat milk latte, just make sure your life isn’t just a highlight reel. Live in a way that, twenty years from now, you’ll look back without any “what ifs.” Find your plot, own it and make your life the kind of story that feels worth living, not just posting.