It’s February, and the pressure to be in a relationship seems to be higher lately. Many people like to assume that life gets better when you have a significant other, or that it’s better to be in a relationship than it is to be single. I wouldn’t trade my boyfriend for the world (unless we’re talking Ryan Gosling or something), but speaking as someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum, I honestly don’t think any of that is true. We can enjoy every second of being single the same way some do with relationships – the only thing holding us back is the negative connotation we so often place on being “the single one.”
The truth about being single is that while so many of us view it as a thumbs down on the status of our lives, that’s all it really is: a status. It doesn’t control any aspect of your life. In fact, there is a larger amount of freedom to do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to, on your own terms. Another thing people often say is this: If you’re single, make yourself feel better by trying to forget that you are.
Why not embrace it? There’s no reason to turn your relationship status into something negative that you have to ignore. Embrace the fact that you can go out with your friends and stay out all night without worrying about what your significant other may think. Embrace that all your “couple goals” and “relationship goals” haven’t been fulfilled yet, and that it’s okay. Not being in a romantic relationship does not, in any way, mean you don’t have other equally significant relationships that you can love and enjoy. Furthermore, being single does not say anything about your validity.
It is easier to enjoy being single and love your life for what it is when you stop considering “single” as a limbo stage between or before a relationship. We view relationships, boyfriends, girlfriends and husbands as being the final destination, and so often we don’t stop to enjoy the things we do on our own.
As cheesy as it sounds, being single does not mean you are literally all on your own – you have friends, family, your crazy roommates and their dogs and so on. Being single just means we appreciate those people a little more for all the movie dates, endless baking at midnight and even grocery store runs in pajamas. Sure, there are great aspects of not being single, but being single also gives us a chance to be spontaneous and get to know ourselves a little better.
I love being in a relationship. I also loved being single. I am still the same person, whether I am taken or not. Being single was fun because I wasn’t overly focused on finding someone to be in a serious relationship with anyway – it was never my goal as I stepped out of my house in the morning to find some cute guy to chat with. All of the things we assume we can only do when we are in relationships – getting dressed up to go to dinner, going on cute road trips, marathoning shows on Netflix in goofy pajamas – we can do with friends and still enjoy them.
Your best friend will never mind watching Say Yes to the Dress in sweatpants on a Saturday, and your sister really won’t mind going camping over spring break. Once we get rid of the mindset that being single means we are in a bad place in our lives, enjoying the single life becomes easy.
When I was single, I always had my own stuff going on, my own goals, my own ambitions and my own morals. Single Cindy lived on popcorn and granola bars and partied with Stacey London and Clinton Kelly on TLC. Not-single Cindy still does this. Nothing has changed. She just has a boyfriend who sometimes wants to watch something else.
Another thing: It is so important to remember that you do not need a relationship (please ignore the cliché). They’re fun and they’re wonderful, but they are not necessary. Collegiettes, no one can ever be your “other half” because you are not a half. You are a whole.
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