One time when applying to an internship, I sent an email to the correspondent with my resume and cover letter inquiring for more information and requesting an interview. I wrote the email in a very firm and forward voice. Rather than include pleasantries in the opening of the email, such as “I hope your day is going well,” I cut straight to my point. The correspondent’s name was Sam Smith*, which I misread to be a man’s name. Luckily for me, they had their doctorate, so I addressed it to “Dr. Smith,” thus not mistakenly referring to her as him.
Upon their reply, I realized I had mistaken their gender identity. I’m not sure exactly what suggested this; maybe it was their tone in their reply, or maybe it just finally hit me and I looked her up. Upon finding her profile, I realized my mistake. I quickly recalled my email that I had initially sent, straining to remember what I said.
Nervous that I had misspoken, I pulled up the email from me sent box, rereading it, I realized that nothing was really wrong. Because I had prefaced her name with “Dr.,” nothing was mistaken. However, I felt off about this. Suddenly I realized my pro-feminist self wasn’t as immune from gender bias as I had thought (and hoped).
I had written my email in such authoritative and succinct wording, originally thinking I was speaking to a man. I spoke in hopes to be taken seriously and appreciated as a strong and powerful applicant. If I had known I was writing to a women, I probably would have spoken in a softer, kinder tone, something more friendly and light. This speaks volumes of both myself and the society we (still) live in. I clearly feel the need subconsciously to speak differently to a businessman than a businesswoman.
Though this is my own gender bias, I have to ask myself where this bias was formed. It could have come from my personal experience in business, or my parents (and how they each speak to me differently than the other and I to them), or plenty of other sources, such as TV and movies.
Whatever the reason is, wherever my bias originated, I challenge you to consider how you speak to men versus women yourself. Notice your own gender bias (if you have any), and I dare you to try to combat this in your thoughts and actions.