After four semesters’ worth of intensive research and experimentation, the definitive ranking of the best places to binge on sugar-coated carbs in Gainesville has been completed. It’s completely objective and scientific, so anyone who disagrees is, in the simplest terms, wrong. Below are the top five, according to yours truly.
1. Midnight CookiesR. Kelly said it best when he described Midnight Cookies as “Hot and fresh out the kitchen, mama rollin that body, got every man in here wishin.” Always made fresh and delivered while they’re still warm, Midnight Cookies has got people making all kinds of wishes. Midnight Cookies delivers cookies to hungry college students with disposable incomes until 3 a.m. Monday through Thursday, making it the most reliable, lazy and delicious restaurant on our list. All of their cookies are worth trying out, but the s’mores one, topped with chocolate and a melted marshmallow, feels like human love.
2. The HyppoPopsicles are basically frozen flavored water, but The Hyppo has found a way to make them look and taste like art. The interior of The Hyppo is minimalist and cool, with dark wood floors and freezers full of pastel popsicles in flavors like pistachio rosewater and chipotle peach. For the 10 minutes you’re in there, you’ll feel like the fanciest person in Gainesville.
3. Karma CreamCozy, artsy and with a bathroom you can only get to if you take the creepy dark staircase, Karma Cream offers a large selection of certified organic, vegan and non-vegan ice creams and pastries. You can take your mom here to show her how cultured and hip you’ve become at college over a bowl of strawberry je ne sais quoi and be like “Yeah, Mom, I know what ‘je ne sais quoi’ means.”
4. SweetBerriesSweetBerries only has three locations in Florida, and we were lucky enough to get one. Their frozen custards are huge and delicious and can be mixed in with “concretes” to make the best sundaes in Gainesville. Their turtle sundae is particularly good. Apparently frozen custard is different from ice cream somehow, and their website says that it has less fat, so don’t feel like you have to share it with your friends.
5. Krispy KremeKrispy Kreme isn’t specific to Gainesville, but the one on Thirteenth Street certainly feels special. Some people only go there once a semester after an especially draining weekend or an all-nighter in the library. Some go whenever the fresh donuts light is on, but that high calorie, oily, sugary need is in all of us. Krispy Kreme also gets extra points for its proximity to Library West and the app you can download that will tell you if donuts are currently being made.
Gainesville’s a great place to live, learn and grow, but what we’re all really here to do is to eat. Make this list a challenge, and try every place on it. Add to the challenge and try to eat at each of these places in one day. It’ll make a great résumé booster, and you’ll have finally experienced all the local culture. Happy eating, collegiettes.
Photo credit: www.midnightcookies.com