Van Gogh found inspiration for his greatest works when he left the Netherlands for Paris. Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso found true achievement only once they left their home country of Spain and moved to an entirely new place. We wouldn’t have the masterpieces of literature that are For Whom the Bell Tolls and The Old Man and The Sea if Ernest Hemingway hadn’t decided to go live in Cuba, and the world may have never known the literary greatness of T.S. Eliot had he not picked up his life and moved to England when he was 25.
These luminaries only found their spark once they left what was familiar and moved somewhere completely new. My decision to spend the summer of 2024 in Edinburgh without knowing a single person only proved what history’s greats already knew: there truly is escape in escaping.
Feeling discouraged at not hearing back from any of the film internships I’d applied to, my decision to apply to this program I’d found at The University of Edinburgh was something completely unexpected, and truthfully, a last ditch effort to do something away from home for the summer. I didn’t think I’d actually get in when I applied, so it didn’t register to me that I’d quite literally signed up to move across the Atlantic by myself. Then, I got the email that I’d been accepted – and immediately confirmed that I’d be in attendance.
I don’t think I realized how scary of a decision it was until I had to navigate the London Tube with an excessive amount of luggage from the Heathrow Airport to the London Euston Train Station. But the second I stepped off the train in Edinburgh, I knew I’d made the right decision.
Though I went to Scotland knowing no one, I immediately made friends with the other people in the program, many of whom were also entirely on their own. From hearing the stories and life experiences they shared, I learned countless things about the world that I never would’ve known otherwise and made friendships that I’ll cherish forever.
More important though was how Edinburgh helped me find myself. Before I boarded the 7 hour flight to the UK, I’d been feeling so lost and discouraged in life – having an early onset quarter life crisis, if you will. I would second guess and worry about every little thing, letting my fears hold me back from truly experiencing life. But when I set foot in Edinburgh – completely alone and slightly terrified – I’d never felt more alive. I suddenly had the freedom to do whatever I wanted, without the stress and pressures of life back home. It felt surreal at first, almost like a positive type of deindividuation. No one here knew me – the world was my oyster.
When classes ended at 14:00 on Thursdays, I’d go take a spin around the National Portrait Gallery of Scotland. On the weekends, I’d take up residence in my favorite coffee shop right by the Old College at the University of Edinburgh and write for hours, finding inspiration in every little thing the city and its people had to behold.
One weekend during my summer in Edinburgh, I decided to take a day trip to St. Abbs, a small fishing village in the Scottish Borders famous for being twinned with the city of New Asgard in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and serving as the filming location for the fictional island of Eroda featured in Harry Styles’ “Adore You” music video. All my friends from the program had other plans that weekend, and I almost chose to just stay in Edinburgh by myself because I didn’t want to go alone.
Then Friday morning came around, and I decided over morning tea to just buy the ticket – I’d realized overnight that it would be silly to miss out on something I really want to do just because I couldn’t go without someone else.
Early that Saturday morning, I caught a bus from my flat to Edinburgh Waverley Station, where I then took a train to Berwick-Upon-Tweed. I had a bit of time to kill before catching my bus, so I explored the English town just south of the Anglo-Scottish border, dipping into quaint shops and purchasing a whole bag of candy for the rest of the journey. I then hopped on a bus from the Old School bus stop, popping in my airpods and settling into a window seat to stare at the passing scenery for the half-hour ride. It was as one of my favorite songs from middle school played that my eyes started to fill with tears and I realized I was living out the dreams that younger-me had. I was in Scotland, on my own, and feeling unstoppable on my complicated journey to Eroda/New Asgard.
I got off the bus at the Coldingham Primary School in Eyemouth, and started on the 1.8 mile walk to the town of St. Abbs. Sheep grazed in lush pastures alongside me, and I got more and more excited as the sea came into view, dropping away in sharp cliffs along the coast. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the “Twinned with New Asgard” sign, or when I hiked up the coast to where Harry once spun around with a fish.
Then, I explored the harbor for a while, trying to kill some time before the boat tour I’d booked spontaneously on the train earlier was due to leave. As I took in the stacked crab cages and fishing nets, comparing real life to images of Eroda and New Asgard on my phone, it began to rain. The boat captain assured us that the weather would be fine to still go on the boat tour – and also that there were no lockers for our stuff. Shoving my tote bag under my jacket, I fastened my life jacket and boarded the boat.
Let me just say – that captain was not truthful. Torrents of rain poured down on us the entire time and once we’d finished zipping around the sea 2 hours later, I was soaked to the bone.
The funniest part though? I didn’t really care. I’d made a memory I’ll cherish for life (though the journey back via bus, then train, then another bus, was not fun) and learned to be okay with being alone. Life’s too short to deny yourself a second of joy because you’re worried about what other people are going to think or are too afraid to try.
Edinburgh fed my soul and allowed me to grow in ways I didn’t think possible. I discovered a newfound compassion and appreciation for the little things around me, finding such happiness in the mere act of being fully present for once. Though I was alone, Edinburgh helped me embrace the person I am and to reorder my priorities in life, allowing my dreams to carry me rather than letting my fears hold me back from fully living.
Anthony Bourdain, an American chef, author, TV personality and personal hero of mine, famous for his food travel shows No Reservations and Parts Unknown, expresses my sentiments about moving to find yourself perfectly in this quote:
“If I’m an advocate for anything, it’s to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. The extent to which you can walk in someone else’s shoes or at least eat their food, it’s a plus for everybody. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.” ― Anthony Bourdain
So go out and do it! That thing you’ve been too scared to do. Put yourself out of your comfort zone and move. You might just find unimaginable growth and self-discovery along the way as I have.