“Everybody is a little bit gay.” Well, no. And that’s okay!
While everybody being gay would be fun, it’s just not the case. And no, just because you appreciate a celebrity of the same sex, it does not always mean you’re gay (maybe you just have a keen eye).
Ever since I came out, I’ve been hearing this rhetoric that everyone around me is “a little gay.” However, the more people I talk to, the more I realize it’s just not true. In fact, I think the statement can be pretty harmful.
I grew up in St. Petersburg, Florida, and while the city holds the biggest Pride event in the state, I never really grew up with anyone I could relate to. I had queer friends, but they were seldom women. When I got to high school, it was even worse.Â
In freshman year, I’m pretty sure I was one of two gay women in my IB class. The jargon used among high school students can be demeaning. In terms of my sexuality, I had to tread pretty lightly in terms of how public I was with it. And if I told a peer I identified as “queer,” I’d have to sit there for a few seconds while I watched their mental cogs turn.
I think making the claim that “everybody is a little gay” undermines the experience of actual gay people. Even though I knew my family would be supportive (and then some), I was still terrified to come out. It’s an admission that you’re different from others, and that you might face difficulty in certain areas of life.Â
Especially in states where gayness is frowned upon, there are less spaces for someone to feel comfortable in their own skin. Some people might not find the same support that I, and others, are able to. Moreover, the beauty of queer relationships is something that is not understood by all.Â
Having special spaces is a tale as old as time, especially in the LGBTQ+ community. It’s a deeper understanding, something sacred.
Another common phrase I’ve heard is, “Are you sure you’re gay?” in any situation where I bring up my attraction to a man (God forbid a girl rambles a little bit about Joe Keery). Whenever I’d get asked that, it would really upset me. When did liking everybody become unheard of? I’d spiral into an identity crisis, and then quickly realize — I’ve known I liked women for 6 years. And why is it anybody’s business?Â
That’s the biggest reason I don’t like the generalization that everybody is a little gay, because if they were, then they too would understand the complexities of sexuality. Yes, maybe I’ve made some passing comments on how Yoongi from BTS is my forever soulmate… does that eliminate my queer identity? No, not even close.
Sometimes I joke that I should’ve opted for attending a liberal arts school, because then I would probably get some action (I still love you, UF).Â
I am serious when I say that being a queer woman at an SEC school is…something. I haven’t faced any trouble — then again, I’m not exactly running through the Reitz Lawn screaming, “I’m gay.” By “something,” I just mean that I feel like I’m on the hunt for a secret treasure (hint: the treasure is the other gay women at UF). Although, it is very possible that I’ve done a very lousy job searching.Â
In most cases, saying that everyone is “a little gay” is a joke, but as per usual, I’m going to be the friend that might just be “too woke” (which is another saying I think is stupid … but I’ll save that for another time).