LDR is the scariest acronym since UFO. Long distance relationships can be intimidating, especially when you’re at UF and your boyfriend is not. Whether he’s at high school in your hometown or at a different college, at times it can feel like he’s a million miles away. Isn’t college hard enough?
We’re here to tell you that you can make it through. If you and your boyfriend are both committed to making your relationship work from different locations, you can endure the separation.
Here are our secrets for helping your LDR survive:
1. Stay positive.
In the wise words of Yoda, do or do not. There is no try. Do not try to stay positive – if you enter this LDR situation with a negative attitude, it can only turn out badly. Be legitimately optimistic about your relationship. See it as a learning experience – a time during which you can learn about how your boyfriend functions when you’re not constantly around.
We can’t lie to you: it’s going to be tough. Really tough. But women (like you) are resilient creatures. When we set our minds to something, we succeed. So, girl, get your game face on.
2. Trust him.
Have a frank discussion with your boyfriend about boundaries – what each person is OK with and not OK with happening over the course of the year. Find out what he’s expecting to happen while you’re apart. Be honest with him, set some guidelines and work together to figure out how you’re going to deal with this.
Once those guidelines are in place, assume that he will adhere to them. Don’t obsess over what he might be doing with his friends or what kinds of girls he might be meeting, because worrying is only going to make it worse. Tell him that you trust him, and do so.
3. Use technology.
Here’s some good news: you’re in perhaps the best century ever to have an LDR! Think about it: you have so many ways to communicate with him. Not only can you call, text and email him, but you can IM and video chat anytime too.
Set up Skype dates where you guys just talk alone (that way you can see his face). Write corny pick up lines on his Facebook wall to let him know you’re thinking about him even though he’s not there. Send him picture messages – you at the dining hall, you goofing off with your friends, you at the Swamp. Inbox him ‘your song’ on Spotify. Watch movies together on Synchtube, a website that lets you create a room where multiple people can watch/discuss a video in real time. Use Grooveshark to make and send playlists of songs that you’ve listened to together.
4. Use snail mail.
Every once in a while, revisit a pre-internet world and use physical mail. Hand-write your guy a love letter, spritz your perfume on the paper 80s-style and seal it with a kiss. Make him a care package with pictures of you, a mix CD of your latest jams and a batch of his favorite homemade cookies.
Show him how much you care. Who doesn’t like getting packages?
5. Visit.
Figure out a way to see him as much as possible! Plan a roadtrip with your friends to his college, or have your parents come pick you up for a few days. Invite him to UF for a weekend; take him to a Gator game and Mochi. If you can swing it, surprise him. Make a spontaneous decision to take that cheap flight back to see him.
When you can’t visit for a while, make a Google countdown. Cross days off your calendar; it’ll make the date seem closer. Make plans together of what to do when you see each other. When you’re there, take pictures. Make videos. Cuddle. Enjoy each other’s company. You’re a good couple – after all, you’ve made it this far. What’s a little distance?
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UFL chapter.