Quotes n Notes: Marilyn Monroe

 

“A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her.” - Marilyn Monroe

People pleasers.  You either are one or you know one -- maybe even both. So many people live in such a way that they put others before themselves, and although this is a great quality to have, sometimes it comes at the cost of allowing other people to take advantage of your loyalty and friendship. People pleasers tend to apologize when they are not in the wrong just so the people who are upset with them will be happy with them again. People pleasers give and give to relationships that have transformed from 50/50 to 90/10 because they don’t want to see them fail. People pleasers look to make others happy and often lose their own happiness in the process.

Even if you aren’t a consistent people pleaser yourself, you have probably been in a situation or two before in which you did whatever you could to satisfy someone else’s desires. It is inevitable and acceptable that we all do it from time to time, but letting it become a habit can only lead to feelings of emptiness.

Take it from me. There have been times when I gave all I had and then some to people who did not truly deserve it. I try to always believe the best in people, but this is a flaw just as much as it is a strength. It has sometimes gotten in the way of me seeing reality. I always felt that if I could just make everyone happy with me, I would be happy with myself. But I came to find that I was often the one to apologize when I should have been the one to accept someone else’s apology.

It isn’t about always having to be right; it’s just about being fair to yourself. It isn’t selfish to step back and ask more of people, and it isn’t wrong to let them go if they aren’t willing to give you more. When you realize and accept this, you'll realize that in this world, we only need those who need us. Functional and long-lasting relationships are about meeting the other person half way and about finding a balance and a level playing field. The friendships or relationships that are very up and down on a good day won’t last through the storms, but the ones that are consistently positive and honest will last through it all.