“It’s better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.” – Diane Grant
Before I came to college, I went through some rough patches. Middle school was a time of uncertainty; I had a close friend group, but I had trouble finding my place. I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be, and I struggled with the self-confidence issues that most middle school students face. I expected I would not have the same issues in high school, but I was wrong.
To my surprise, the high school experience was very similar to the middle school experience in many ways. There were still the “band geeks,” the “jocks,” the “nerds,” the “popular” crowd, and more. I felt like I witnessed those groups clashing almost every day. People were no more accepting of those different from them nor were they any more accepting of themselves. Nobody was very different from who they were in middle school; they just tried to be different.
There came a point in high school when my self-confidence issues were at an all-time low. I didn’t think I was good enough at anything, and I didn’t think I had much to offer anyone. I constantly analyzed myself and continued to pick out more and more flaws. I was very unhappy, and I couldn’t really figure out why. The day came, though, when I decided not to let myself fall victim to these struggles anymore. I didn’t want to be the girl who only talked to those who were like me. I didn’t want to be the girl who judged someone based on clothes or cliques. I didn’t want to look at myself and feel defeated anymore. So, I didn’t.
The strength I gained when I stopped trying to be who I ideally thought I should be was immense. I had spent so many years trying to find a place where I belonged, trying to be the type of a person who I had put on a pedestal. But what for? I was who I was, and I didn’t need to change that for anybody but myself. After I graduated from high school, I made it my mission to just be myself in college. I wanted to learn from all of the people who would walk into my life, and I wanted to take something positive away from every experience and contribute it to being my best self. So far, I think I’m doing a pretty good job of that, and I’m so thankful I chose to find the right path within myself instead of living for everyone else. At the end of the day, listening to your intuition and following your heart is all that matters. That way, you’ll always stay on course.