What happened to talking and conversations? Getting to know each other? Turning to the person next to you and asking how his or her day is? Well, if there is anyone qualified to speak on this, it’s me, the girl who got in trouble for talking to her classmates K-12, the girl who was moved repeatedly in hopes of silence, only to find another buddy, the girl who chatted the ear off of a bus of fraternity men with not a single response, for hours. I’m a talker, if you cannot tell; I love making connections and hearing others’ stories. And this habit of turning to the person next to me had disappeared for a while as the allure of my phone pulled me in. I only became aware how often I turned to this digital device ironically enough after seeing a TikTok; it pointed a finger at me and called me out for not living in the real world.
Upon seeing this, I made an active effort to fight the urge to pick up my phone, whether that meant feeling awkward or bored. And you know what that meant? Sitting at the bus stop and the rides were think tanks for creative inspiration, most of all however I noticed how much other people used their phones. It’s hard not getting unnerved in this dystopian-like world. Seeing people speeding one hand on the wheel on their phone, head down. Couples sitting next to me having dates with each gazing into social networks instead of their partner’s eye. It’s so disconcerting to be the only one looking up and around, peoples’ necks bent, eyes locked in on a luminescent screen, the stream of pictured carousels reflecting in their pupils.
I find it so interesting how quickly and drastically the world changes, and how accusatory people are for those who have a hard time accepting this. We are told that to be alive is to change, and to not encourage advancement is to be stubborn, but I think that some things are better left the way they are. How different would my life, or our lives, be if there were 10 social networks to fill up every waking moment, or if we were not bombarded with news, notifications and communication 24/7? Would I not worry about what my friends were doing every second of the day? About how large my pores are? How weird my skinny jeans look on my legs, if they even do look weird?
I actually brought this up to my mother the other day when I said, “Let’s go back to payphones,” and she laughed. While I thought this, before my time method was cute, she remarked that it was largely unreliable and even dangerous. Yet still part of me yearns for that time before mobile phones. What I would give to not feel pressure to share each aspect of my life, or even to have a boy call me on a landline. Maybe I’m romanticizing, but I feel as though I cannot escape the sentiment that phones ruined our youth. If we look toward the future, there seems to be no bounds, my skin crawls with the idea we may one day be all wearing Apple Vision. I fear the generations that started TikToking before they could read, the ones who desire to be influencers. There are countless studies, and I guarantee thousands more coming, about the harmful impacts that social media has had on mental health, but beyond that it destroys imagination. We forget the world is not in our phones, it’s quite the opposite. In putting down this 5×2 square you get the joy of the sunlight’s kiss on your face, a breeze in your hair, a wonderful human walking by in a colorful outfit, a mother holding her child’s hand, friends throwing their heads back in fits of laughter.
People are so silly and incredible, and watching someone smile, pet their dog or bask in the sun is a more natural and sustainable dopamine boost.
So, fight the urge, and use your eyes to gaze lovingly at puppies, or wink at your friends, smile at strangers; life is so much more beyond the screen.
In full honesty, I too am still trying to follow my own gospel.