The wind in your hair, the sun on your skin, the subtle slaps to the face as insects collide with your path. Ah yes, the glorious yet also troubled life of a scooter owner. Whether you’re already a proud scooter owner or in the throes of debate as to whether you want to be, here are a few pros and cons of the life and times of the marvelous moped:
Pro: Lack of campus parking is no longer an issue You have 20 minutes before class starts and 10 minutes left of this episode of Gossip Girl. What do you do? You finish the episode because you have a scooter and don’t have to set aside 15 minutes before class starts to find parking. #scootlife
Con: The feared domino effect The inevitable fate of being that person who manages to lose control of their moped and be the sole cause of the downfall of an entire rack of scooters. Helpful hint: If this happens to you, don’t even try to pick them up. Just pretend it never happened, and evacuate the scene immediately. Otherwise, stick around to suffer the fate of 30 death glares and alarms setting off.
Pro: Looking cool (most of the time) Yes, on campus, your friends will gawk at you in jealousy as you glamorously cruise through campus, but drive just one mile outside your college town and suddenly you’re that weird kid on a Vespa going 20 miles per hour under the speed limit.
Con: Getting caught in the rain Every scooter owner is familiar with the feeling of dread experienced when walking out of his or her 12:50 p.m. class and being surrounded by gray skies. The ever-so-gentle tap of the first raindrop as you speed-walk to your scooter marks the downfall of your day. With your hood up and sunglasses on, you mount your seafoam green-colored steed and prepare for the monsoon you’re about to be engulfed in. Scooting in the rain is no easy fate; however, it is one you’ll reluctantly come to master, and maybe you’ll even start to remember to pack a towel underneath your seat.
Pro: Romantic double-boy scoots You don’t have to be a scooter owner to partake in this day-maker, but it is without a doubt one of the best things to come from this two-wheel transportation. Nothing is more amusing than spotting two boys sharing this romantic moment together. Bonus points if the passenger has his arms around the driver.
Con: Wiping out in front of everyoneThere are few things I can guarantee in this world, but I can guarantee that when you do wipe out — because you will — your friends, your ex, your old roommate, your arch nemesis, the cute guy from your 8:30 a.m. class, your neighbor’s dog, that hot Starbucks barista, your second cousin twice-removed and your professor will all be present and will remember it forever.
Con: Unexpected and sporadic stalling Taking a joyride with your friend over to Dunkin’ Donuts Happy Hour sounds like all fun and games until your scooter stops running in the middle of a main road and you both have to angrily wheel it back home sans delicious $1 iced coffees.
As you can see, there are many pros and cons to the moped lifestyle. However, in the end, it comes down to this: Are you lazy? And are you coordinated enough to operate a two-wheel piece of machinery? If your answer to these questions is yes, then a scooter will dramatically improve your lifestyle. Welcome to the scooter community, where no matter how small, large or pastel our scooters are, we all unite in that exuberating adrenaline rush we get during our 6 p.m. scoot to Chipotle.