There are two things that seal a relationship: meeting parents and getting engaged. In high school relationships or even dating someone from your hometown, it’s hard to imagine what it’s like to not meet the parents by the second or third date. It happened organically in these relationships, or maybe he or she already met your parents. Now that you’re miles away, if not states, from family, it’s a greater deal to meet the family of your significant other. But is there a right time?
You could argue a variety of different answers to this question, and it will depend entirely upon your specific relationship, but two to three months seems like the sweet spot. This is why we decided to take to the University of Florida campus to ask couples what they think.
“I believe about three months is right, unless the holidays are coming up,” said Kayli Bryant, an international studies major at the UF. “If it’s been a couple [of] weeks, I wouldn’t go to Thanksgiving with his family. But if it’s been a while and you’re happy, it’d be OK.”
At two or three months, the relationship isn’t new enough to be unstable, but it’s a good spot to decide whether you would enjoy being around your partner’s family. It’s important to like each other’s families. Learning that early on can save a lot of troubles for the future.
“It makes the relationship real,” said Pierce Imperialbobis, a biology major at UF. With this reasoning, meeting the parents shouldn’t be rushed.
“It’s like opening up your life to them, and you have to be very sure,” she said. “At that point, it feels more like you have to keep them in your life.”
For students like myself who entered college in a relationship — then had to learn the oftentimes tricky rules and experiences of dating in college — timelines might be a bit confusing. It goes from you organically reintroducing the boy your parents met in your elementary school class to your parents meeting a random boy from across the state.
Amanda Carr, a public relations major and Her Campus UFL team member, prefers waiting longer to introduce someone she started dating in college.
“My ex and I had started out as really good friends, so I think that’s why I met his parents sooner than I anticipated,” she said.
People put so much emphasis on meeting the family that we feel scared when it actually becomes time to do so. My mom finds this established timeline strange; not too long ago, it used to be normal to meet parents as soon as possible or before even becoming official. Personally, I would feel far too uncomfortable to meet my partner’s parents before two months.
If you want to bring up the conversation about meeting parents but are a little intimidated by the magnitude of the question, you can try asking what your partner’s parents are like. Hopefully, this sparks arrangements to meet them and deepen you and your partner’s relationship.
In reality, it all comes down to how comfortable you and your partner are with each other. Maybe it’s just been a couple of weeks but you both feel entirely invested, and the opportunity arises. Or maybe it’s been six months, and the time hasn’t come. Regardless, it is your relationship. Don’t let standards and social norms get in the way of you and your partner’s happiness.