For 19 years, I have seen the highs and lows of having crushes. Yet I can’t help but notice the cat and mouse chase I have been repeating throughout my entire life. Why am I always searching for someone? Why do I obsess over them in the hopes that, with a mere glimpse, they might fall in love with me?
We want what we can’t have
Raise your hand if you’ve ever liked someone who never reciprocated any feelings to you. Wave your hands if you’ve ever visited the deserted wasteland that is the friendzone.
It’s normal for us to want what we can’t have. Girls who have curly hair want straight hair, or girls have brown eyes want green eyes. Falling in love is no different.
That sensation of being in love is the highest release of endorphins. It’s the greatest high and the greatest tragedy in life, but its oh so worth it. We strive so hard for this desire that we eventually lose sight of what we wanted in the first place, of what we imagined before we placed a face to those wants. That’s the thing about love, the biggest symptom is tunnel vision.
How invested is too invested?
We stalk Instagram profiles and praise god for the creation of the tagged photos section. I’ve even come to depend on LinkedIns to see if my crush actually had potential. Yes, it’s sad that we depend on the internet to find things about our love interests.
There’s nothing worse than when you only want one person in the whole world and you can’t have them. But that feeling that you won’t be able to get the one person you want, is drowned out by the idea of love. It’s easy to imagine someone as the love of your life, the on you’ve been waiting for, but it’s important to take a step back and realize that they’re not who you created in your head. No matter how well you think you know them from their Facebook profile or even their mom’s Facebook, there’s always more behind their pictures and status updates.
How do we get over our crushes before it crushes us?
I am not an expert on the how-to of getting over a relationship or a simple crush. However, I have dealt with the anguish that comes from heartbreak. The biggest thing to remember when you’re deep into the imaginary life of you and your crush is that there is someone more perfect waiting for you. Don’t go chasing around a guy who would rather lead you than walk beside you. Hold your head high and remember who you are.
Ask yourself if you truly like them or if you just want to feel the connection of a relationship. Ask yourself if you’re physically and mentally ready to integrate your life with another’s.
It’s okay to have a crush—they keep us entertained and hopeful. However, don’t let it take control of your life.