How to Be Single Again

“One day, all the love you have given away will find its way back to you, and it will finally stay.” Being single isn’t fun. Especially during this time of year, when the holidays are just around the corner and the last thing you want to do is show up to Thanksgiving dinner alone. For example, when your grandma promptly asks you why you’re single but you can’t even answer that question yourself! But being single doesn’t have to be this horrible thing that you’re a victim of. It can be liberating, freeing and it’s a time to find yourself again. Here’s how to love this new chapter in your life.

Realize your worth

You are so worthy of love and you should never have to beg for someone’s attention. Realize how worthy you are and how lucky someone will be to have you in your life. Never lower your standards for a significant other because you are so much better than that. The moment a guy sees you will lower your standards, then he will no longer feel the need to respect you. Respect yourself enough to have some standards. It’s so important. Also, stop wasting your time on people who can’t see your worth and give your time to people who do see it. The beauty of being single is that you start to value who you are as a person a lot more. Again, you are worthy of so much. With time, someone will see that. I promise.

Do some self-care, obviously

You’re finally single again, which means you have ample time to yourself. Start treating your mind, body and soul with the love and care that it needs. Buy and implement a new, lavish skin care routine into your life — you deserve it. Your skin will be happy, too. Don’t forget to spend time with friends. They will be there for you to listen to your thoughts on this new chapter in your life. Catch up on that television show you’ve been missing, paint your nails and be sure to post a super cute selfie to Instagram. This way you look and feel good and your ex will see what they are missing out on. Their loss, not yours!

Stop comparing your path in life to others

You are right where you need to be in life. You are not behind. It feels so frustrating to see your other friends in these seemingly perfect relationships — I know. You are not your friends. Don’t compare your life to someone else’s. While you’re single, figure out your goals and what you want to accomplish. Work harder than you ever have before.

Don’t be afraid to spend time alone

This is a time in your life where you can learn about who you are and who you want to be. What makes you happy? Find out what those things are and start doing them. By spending time alone, you can really think about things without any outside distraction. Learn new things about yourself. What do you like? What do you dislike? Start a new hobby. Go to that yoga class. Book that vacation you’ve always wanted to go on. Do what you have always wanted to do and don’t look back.

Figure out what kind of partner you’re looking for

I was listening to a podcast one time and the host said something that really hit home for me at the time. The host said that if you are single, then you should write a list of the things you are looking for in an ideal partner. Write down anything and everything that comes to mind. Do you want your partner to have goals and ambitions? Do you want a partner that is more caring or more laid back? By listing these “non-negotiable” traits, you will learn the type of person you might want to date in the future. This list does not make you snobby nor pretentious — it makes you have standards. A woman with standards is a woman who respects herself and knows what she wants. Get writing.

Love will find you. After heartbreak, it’s hard to feel like you will find someone that will treat you right. Heartbreak often steals a little piece of you and feels all too overwhelming, but I promise love will find its way to you. Just be patient. Most often, love and relationships find us when we’re busy enjoying life, so do just that. Enjoy your life. Live life to the fullest. Allow yourself to be open to the idea of love. Love yourself. Spend your time loving those around you. It will all come back to you and you will meet someone who will change your life for the better. Just wait.