Here's How Bumble is Changing the Dating Game

As college women, I’m sure we all feel the same way about boys being dumb, annoying players who are only interested in one thing. Every time a boy approaches you in Midtown, I’m sure you roll your eyes and internally groan just like me at the creep about to come bother you. You’re already planning your exit strategy before he’s even reached you. What if those roles could be reversed, though? What if you could call the shots and decide which boys you talked to and which you don’t? Sounds super empowering and heavenly, right? Well, that’s what the app Bumble is all about. Imagine Tinder’s swipe right/swipe left approach, but then instead of either party being able to message the other first, only the girl can make that first move.

What’s cool about the app is that it gives girls no excuse to not talk to a guy they’re actually interested in first.

“Before Bumble, I never even wanted to message guys first,” said Alana Thomas, a graduate student at the University of Florida. “I felt like it was their job to message me first. But with bumble it forces you to.”

Many girls may feel the same way as Thomas, whether you don’t know where to start the conversation or feel like it comes off as desperate, we’ve all been there. But Thomas says it gets easier and you don’t feel desperate at all.

“In a way it’s just like empowering,” Thomas said. “Instead of always having to wait around for someone to make a move and like, a lot of times it’s not going to be someone you’re very interested in, and I’m talking about in real life situations. But then like you might see someone you’re interested in but you’re just waiting for him to approach you. And it’s so easy to just go approach him and be friendly and say ‘hi’.”

You don’t have to come up with something clever or cute to say, just a simple smile and “hello” works fine. That shouldn’t be our excuse. If you like someone, do something about it! It doesn’t have to be dramatic, you don’t even have to reveal your feelings for them. Just start talking or else nothing will ever happen.

“I feel like guys like that,” she said. “If [my friends] ever approach a guy, the guys love that. And I was like always still too scared to do that but now i see it’s so easy! Even if it’s just something so simple.”

When another friend first told me she started using the app she told me through her suppressed giggles, “I feel like a f**kboy now on Bumble, and the power has gone to my head.”  I’m not saying to get back at boys after any issues they’ve caused you, I’m just making the point that don’t let the power scare you! It might feel strange and awkward at first, but once you get the hang of it you’ll enjoy how liberated and in-control you feel. And if a guy (or girl) give you any weird glances, or say you look kind of desperate, ignore them! That’s on them, not you. They just have yet to realize their full potential.

“And if anyone does think it looks desperate still,” Thomas said. “Then that’s their problem.”

That’s the great thing about the time we live in: things are changing constantly. And if we want to continue the change and bring it even further, we have to be a part of it. Enjoy the empowerment you have inside you. Don’t hide it or run away from it.

“Things are becoming more progressive,” Thomas said. “I think like obviously there’s always going to be people that prefer it one way or another but i just feel kind of empowered and feel like… it’s like, it’s a good feeling.”

Some people say they don’t like feminism because it’s killing our tradition, culture and respect. And Bumble feels like a very pro-feminist app. But the thing is, it’s not about trampling the past and forgetting about honor. You can have your cake and eat it, too.

“I don’t think you should totally get rid of [chivalry],” Thomas said. “And it just depends, I don’t think it should be these likes stiff, set rules. But I think like if you like someone, you should do nice things for them, and that’s on both sides.”