There is a growing desire nowadays for “self-growth” and becoming the best possible version of yourself. While this is a good mindset to have, each person’s journey to becoming the best version of themselves looks different. However, there are several truths that one must accept before embarking on this journey.
- You are the director of your life
-
This should go without saying, but your life is nobody else’s but your own and therefore you are the sole person responsible for it. Taking responsibility for your own life means that you understand you are fully in charge of your destiny through the decisions you make. No one has the power to determine how your life turns out—not your friends, not your parents, not even your significant other. The life you have is largely formed through your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. There will be some external factors that may influence the outcome of your future, but whatever you can control, make it so that it goes your way.
Avoid making excuses for failure, excuses about your choices in life—all these excuses will not contribute to anything productive and will only promote dysfunctional thinking and thus undesirable actions and behaviors. Tune out the negative and unhelpful voice in your head. Positive thinking is a helpful habit because otherwise, any excuses for your past actions will fuel future failures.
- Look for help when you need it
-
Even though you are solely responsible for your life, that doesn’t mean you have to shoulder all the work and burden alone. Doing all the work alone will create more harm than good. That is why it’s important to seek help when you need it. Seeking help does not mean you are weak or incompetent asking for help is a form of strength on its own. You have the foresight to recognize that life can be a lot for one person to handle at times, and it’s okay to rely on someone dependable and supportive to help you get through it. Don’t think that asking for help is going to be a burden on people either. Those who love and care for you will often be more than happy to help you out if you simply ask them.
- Life has its lows and that’s okay
-
Not everything in life goes exactly how you planned, and that’s okay. Things can happen throughout your life that you simply have no control of, whether it’s a serious illness or the loss of a loved one. There are also the things you are solely responsible for: personal failures, actions or words you could take back, but you can’t. Collectively, these things can cause stress, pain, and resentment that act as a burden. However, even if you can’t change your past to make the present better, you can make a change to brighten your future.
To accept the situation you’re in, you must be able to reassure yourself that everything in life happens for a reason. View the circumstances as not a barrier or an obstacle, but rather an opportunity for a new beginning. You are still capable of doing great things in life and you can look forward to a better future, but you have to accept your past and build on it.
- Change is a choice
-
This goes along with the first point about being the director of your life. If you want change to happen, it’s not going to appear in front of you like magic. Change only happens when you put in the work for it. To create the life we want, one must take the initiative to put forth the necessary effort and make choices that provide real, lasting changes in our lives. However, we may freeze before making the choices necessary for change, perhaps out of fear. It’s easy to create excuses to justify why we can’t seem to change, but the reality is that change can be very scary and daunting—when fear is involved, our immediate reaction is often to play it safe and not change. We don’t take chances because we don’t want to get hurt, disappointed, or rejected. However, there are times when we need to step out of our comfort zone because sometimes, change means we have to ditch the default reaction of playing it safe to get the results we seek. Change requires a little bit of daring, and that starts with making a few new choices.