A blinding light beams in from your bedroom window, your alarm has been going off for the past hour, and you quickly realize you have 15 minutes until you have to be in class. Frantically, you jump out of the bed to get dressed, but just as you land on your feet, the throbbing in your head commences; your stomach churns, and your balance seems far from stable.
Flashbacks to the night before rush through your mind. Two loaded Coronas, a few Kamikazes, a whisky ginger… Your day’s class schedule begins looking a little rough. Dragging yourself out of bed, you look for anything to ease the pain, but how can you really know what’s going to work the best? If you’re going to chug a raw egg, you’d better make sure it does the job. So, rather than blindly trusting your roommates miracle mystery smoothie, here are four proven remedies and four to stay away from:
FACT: HYDRATE
The key to relieving a hangover is to keep your body hydrated. Ideally, experts recommend alternating between alcohol and water while you’re out. But are we really going to go scrounging for a glass of water in between keg stands at our favorite frat house? Instead, I recommend drinking at least two large glasses of water immediately when you wake up after a long night. I have also recently discovered Pedialyte, a therapeutic hydration for children, helps immensely, and it even comes in ice pops.
MYTH: GREASY FOOD
Although the first place we want to go after waking up with a hangover is a drive-thru, you should resist the urge to eat greasy foods in order to satiate your upset stomach. Even though nearly every college kid swears by it, eating fatty foods will often just worsen your upset stomach. It’s best to stick to something light, like toast or cereal.
FACT: EXERCISE
I know your bed feels heavenly and sleep is really what your body needs, but if you want to have a productive day, I recommend hitting the gym before class. As long as you continue to hydrate, working out can make you feel immensely better. Not only does your body release endorphins while you work out, but it also acts as a depressant and can slow down your brain activity, which may alleviate that pounding headache.
MYTH: “HAIR OF THE DOG”
I don’t know about you, but when I’m hung-over, the thought of any type of alcohol immediately triggers my gag reflex. However, people sometimes claim drinking a little bit of alcohol the morning after can help relieve your body’s alcohol withdrawals. Although in theory this makes sense, drinking more will only delay the inevitable and relieve symptoms only temporarily.
FACT: SEX
Yes. Believe it or not, a morning hookup may in fact help lessen the discomfort of a hangover. During sex, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin, which increases a person’s pain threshold. Not to mention, having sex can burn off some of the drinking calories from the night before — killing two birds with one stone.
MYTH: CAFFEINE
A cup of coffee is good to turn to if you’re looking to sober up, but it certainly won’t facilitate a hangover by any means. It may get you out of bed, but I can assure you, you won’t feel so great once you’re up. Caffeine actually narrows your blood vessels and boosts your blood pressure, intensifying your hangover.
FACT: VITAMINS
Alcohol is a toxin that depletes vitamins stored in your body, particularly vitamin B. Experts recommend taking a B6 vitamin after waking up from a night of drinking. The B6 vitamin will help metabolize the alcohol in your system faster. I also recommend washing it down with a glass of orange juice to restore your Vitamin C levels.
MYTH: PAINKILLERS
When it feels like you’ve just been hit by a semi-, it’s hard not to naturally reach for a bottle of aspirin. However, doctors advise against it. Aspirin, Tylenol, Ibuprofen, and other over-the-counter painkillers are blood thinners and can do severe damage if there’s alcohol in your system. Not only will it exaggerate your symptoms, but it can also cause stomach bleeding and permanent damage to your liver.
Nursing a hangover is far from fun, but in college it’s an inevitable chore. The more you know about what works and what doesn’t will definitely mitigate the aggravating process. Good luck!