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Every Freshman at Your School… As Told by Bridesmaids

There are two great things about Bridesmaids. One, everybody has seen it and two, the variety of characters is both endless and relatable. Now that you’ve gotten acclimated to your college life after fall semester, you’ve started to notice things about the people around you. Here are every single one of those people as told by the characters in Kristen Wiig’s second greatest creation, after Penelope of course.


Annie is the girl who made it this far, but you’re not sure how much further she can go. She only hangs out with her friends from high school, has a “complicated relationship” back home, and is completely averse to any change unless it involves her major, which seems to be different every time you talk to her. She shows up to class in her old varsity shirts and isn’t in any clubs.


Lillian is the girl who gets whisked away in her new life. She has so many awesome new friends and a new boyfriend, that she doesn’t seem to have real time for her old friends, or even FaceTime with her dog. She’s always posting all of the cool things that she’s doing on Instagram and Snapchat; 80 percent because it’s fun, and 20 percent to rub it in people’s faces who aren’t having as great a time as her. Always shows up to class wearing org shirts and is constantly adding stickers to her laptop.


Helen is the girl whose great-great-great grandma was in the first class of your University and doesn’t let you forget it. She’s always referring to herself as a “lifelong ____”. She makes tons of Facebook posts talking about how blessed she is to receive “x” opportunities, no matter how big or small. Wears vintage clothing and headbands to class, and quietly uses her status to get ahead.


Megan is literally the best person you can meet at your school. She’s completely selfless and is genuinely happy for other people. Even though she’s always busy doing DiffEq homework, she’ll never pass up an opportunity to meet you in the library for coffee and help you out with an assignment. Usually wears pajamas to class because she doesn’t care what anybody thinks.


Rita is the girl who’s been waiting to go crazy the second her parents tightly hugged her goodbye. Goes out every night, and is finding it hard to keep up with her biomedical engineering classes. Doesn’t necessarily have friends, but has 2,000 posts on Instagram in various stages of drunk with girls she’s met once. Wears more eyeliner to class than clothes.


Becca is the girl who is super excited to enjoy all aspects of college. Aces every assignment in all three of her majors, is friends with everybody in her hall, and is president of the abstinence club. Tries to go out sometimes, but sees a couple kissing and runs out. Wears plaid skirt sets and her favorite locket to class.

So collegiates, which of these Bridesmaids girls have you spotted on your campus?


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