More than one in three women and one in four men in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime, according to the American Psychological Association’s website. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and domestic violence is an issue that can affect both men and women. Here are some tips if you or someone you know is in a violent relationship.
Mandy Serguson works with the local Peaceful Paths organization, a domestic abuse network that advocates for violent-free relationships. Serguson said some warning signs of an unhealthy relationship are:
1. Isolation
If your partner only wants you to spend time with him or her, it’s not exactly a good thing, especially if he or she convinces you to give up the activities you enjoy. Serguson said if you’re partner is consistently trying to isolate you from friends or family, this can be your partner exhibiting excessive jealousy.
2. Coercion
The dynamics of violence are power and control, she said. Violence can be anything your partner is doing to gain control over you. Ignoring your partner’s wishes or needs, manipulating them to do something they don’t want to do, and using physical or sexual abuse are all red flags to look for. Physical abuse doesn’t just include hitting someone, but it also can be throwing an item at someone. Serguson said this act can be very intimidating, too
3. Stalking
Stalking can include harassing someone, calling someone all the time, and sending your partner frequent unwanted messages, whether it’s directly or indirectly through friends. Serguson said that some people are flattered when their significant other is “blowing up their phone.” However, she said it could lead to a form of stalking.
If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, Serguson said she advises you to reach out and find someone to talk to. She said it could be more helpful to talk to an expert than a friend. All of the services at Peaceful Paths are free and confidential. If you think a friend is in a violent relationship, she said it’s important to tell them you’re there for them. A person who is dealing with intimate partner violence or domestic violence often feels alienated or at fault. She said that friends and family should respect the choices that person makes.
To learn more about Peaceful Paths and the services it offers, visit http://www.peacefulpaths.org/.
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