It’s no wonder that women feel so much pressure to have an orgasm every time during sex. With all the so-called “good advice” magazines are all giving out that supposedly guarantees an orgasm (or three), you would think getting the big ‘O’ should be an easy task for every woman.
Men say they have performance anxiety but when you really examine both sides, it’s evident that women experience a similar worry. The orgasm has been known as the ultimate exclamation of satisfaction. Even its historical nickname, “the little death” implies a grand finale of some sort, therefore not having had one supposedly signifies that sex was a complete failure and not enjoyable at all. Nevertheless, our “performance” of the great ‘O’ is often expected.
Now, I’m not going to pretend I’m not a Cosmo magazine junkie, however I have to admit that the over-the-top coverlines promising to help every woman achieve an orgasm is getting a little old. Since women are known for being complex and intricate creatures, we all work differently and ultimately respond in various ways. Yes, the argument can be made that a mass of women can like the same thing during sex, BUT unless someone discovered a secret map of a woman’s body and all of our sweet spots; it’s unlikely that these tricks will “guarantee” one for every one of us.
Honestly, I say stop focusing on the fact that some 30-year-old in Colorado gets off with her vacuum cleaner, and focus on the fact that you have to find your own way to make the big moment happen. Of course, there’s no harm in trying the sex doc’s advice, but be realistic about your body and how you work. Not saying that these tricks in the magazines aren’t very helpful, but think of them more as guides to yourself instead of one-way tickets to a world of mind-blowing pleasure. Doing that only gets you frustrated and wondering if something is physically wrong with you.
Also, don’t rely on every single piece of advice about how they should feel either. Once again, every woman is different. The famous “I feel like I’m peeing” sensation doesn’t necessarily happen during every orgasm according to more recent sex studies featured in Women’s Health and Glamour.
Discovering how your body works is a fun way to explore what you like during sex while helping you become more comfortable in your own skin. That way when you find yourself in a very convenient self-serving position, you’ll know just what to do. Plus, sex should be fun regardless.