I can’t help but wonder what it was about the early 2000s that still has us in a chokehold. I mean seriously, what did those years have that the 2020s seem to be missing?
I think I’ve figured it out.
The messy girl.
Not messy in the sense that she doesn’t have her life together (although, sometimes, she definitely doesn’t), but in the sense that she isn’t afraid to live a life that doesn’t make sense to everyone else.
When I put on Sex and the City, I am not watching for a woman who has her entire life figured out. I am watching a 30-something-year-old frantically trying to figure out where her life is headed, usually in an outfit that makes absolutely no sense but somehow looks incredible.
I am watching four women navigate friendships, relationships, careers and all the questionable decisions that come with being human.
Carrie Bradshaw wasn’t sitting in her apartment trying to figure out how to make every second of her life productive. C’mon, she was out on a random Tuesday drinking a cosmo just because she felt like it.
No special occasion, just a tequila shot and absolutely no plans for tomorrow.
And I think that’s exactly what we’re missing.
Somewhere along the way, we stopped embracing the wonderful messiness of girlhood and started treating our lives like projects that constantly needed fixing.
But when did being a little unpolished become such a bad thing?
Carrie Bradshaw is a perfect example. Many people dislike her, and I can understand why. She made questionable decisions, continuously went back to Mr. Big and somehow managed to create problems that could’ve been avoided with at least one rational thought.
She was flawed. She was dramatic. She was impulsive. And sometimes, she was downright ridiculous.
But isn’t that kind of the point?
Her flaws made her human.
I think we’ve become so obsessed with finding characters who make the right decisions that we’ve forgotten how much fun it can be to watch women who don’t (relatably).
Carrie wasn’t written as a blueprint for perfection. In a way, she was meant to reflect the chaotic, ugly and embarrassing parts of life. And whether we want to admit it or not, sometimes the characters we find most frustrating are the ones who remind us of ourselves.
The messy girl isn’t always right. She doesn’t always know what she’s doing. Sometimes, she makes the same mistake twice, three times, or maybe even six.
But at least she’s living. And I think there’s something liberating about that.
Growing up, I loved digging through my mom’s purse to see what kind of mess I’d find inside.
Receipts from Walgreens? Hell yeah. An open lipstick painting the inside of the purse? Sick. Random loose change, expired hard candies, an old grocery list and probably something that had been missing for three months? Even better.
There was absolutely no rhyme or reason to what you’d find in there.
And that’s what I loved about it.
That purse was a little snapshot of her life. It carried whatever life had thrown at her, all compiled into one place. It wasn’t organized or curated. It was messy, personal and completely dependent on whatever the day had brought.
And I think that’s what being a messy girl is all about.
Having a life that looks lived in.
A bedroom with clothes thrown over the chair because you couldn’t decide what to wear. A purse filled with things you probably don’t need but refuse to throw away. A camera roll full of blurry pictures from a night you never expected to remember. A fit that doesn’t necessarily follow the latest trends, but you wear it anyway because you love it.
Not everything needs a purpose. Not everything needs to match. Not everything needs to be explained.
Sometimes, the best parts of life happen when you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing.
And that’s why I think we’re so obsessed with the women of Sex and the City, One Tree Hill and The O.C.
They were messy.
Their relationships were complicated, their decisions were questionable and their lives were constantly changing. They weren’t afraid to be emotional, dramatic or a little bit absurd.
And they definitely weren’t making every decision based on what other people would think.
We’ve become so concerned with how our lives look from the outside that I sometimes wonder if we’ve forgotten what it feels like to simply exist within them.
Every outfit needs to fit an ideal aesthetic. Every photo dump needs to look effortless, even though we probably spent 20 minutes deciding which picture should be the cover. Somehow, we’re spending rent money on hot yoga classes just to show Instagram that we went.
It is so boring.
What happened to having a personality that couldn’t be summed up by a Pinterest board?
What happened to being a little unpredictable?
I don’t want to look back at my twenties and realize I spent the entire decade trying to become a perfectly put-together version of myself.
I want to remember the nights that turned into mornings. The outfits that made absolutely no sense. The random conversations that lasted hours longer than they were supposed to. The loud laughter and the plotting over guys that may or may not even want us.
I want to remember making decisions simply because I wanted to, not because they fit into some bigger picture of who I thought I was supposed to become.
And sure, maybe I’ll look back at a few of those experiences and find myself cringing. But isn’t that part of the fun?
I think we need to be a little more Carrie Bradshaw in practice (although there are definitely a few things we can leave out).
Sometimes, it’s okay to sit alone, ask yourself a question you don’t know the answer to and ignore a phone call or two.
It’s okay to not have a five-year plan. It’s okay to wear something that doesn’t match the vibe of the room. It’s okay to be a little extra over something that probably won’t matter in a week.
Go somewhere without planning. Take the unflattering picture. Wear the ridiculous outfit. Don’t apply heat to your hair every morning.
Let tomorrow be tomorrow’s problem.
And most importantly, stop feeling like every single moment of your life needs to serve a greater purpose.
Not every moment needs to fit into the bigger picture. Sometimes, a moment can just be a moment.
I think our nostalgia for the early 2000s has very little to do with the style, flip phones, or digital cameras.
Granted, I love the return of low-rise pants and chunky sunglasses as much as the next girl.
But I think we’re chasing the wrong things when the feeling we’re looking for is already within reach.
We don’t just miss the fashion. We miss the freedom of being a little imperfect.
We miss women who were unapologetically themselves, even when that meant being passionate, impulsive, intense, or completely lost.
We miss the messy girls.
And personally? I think it’s about time we brought them back. Not as another aesthetic to recreate or microtrend to follow, but as a reminder that life is supposed to be a little all over the place.
Your twenties don’t have to look like a perfectly organized apartment. Sometimes, they can look like Carrie’s closet after she’s spent three hours trying to figure out what to wear to a date she probably shouldn’t be going on.
And that’s okay!
Because the messy girl isn’t defined by the fact that she has no idea what’s coming next.
She’s defined by the fact that she’s willing to find out.
The 2000s don’t need another comeback.
We just need to learn how to let life happen again.
And maybe, just maybe, allow ourselves to leave a few Walgreens receipts at the bottom of our purses.