“There’s an app for that,” is a gospel truth for our generation. From apps that tell you the best time to get up during a movie for a restroom break to ones that threaten to publicly humiliate you when you miss out on a gym day, it feels like the App Store has your back in any situation. However, because of the sheer number of apps out there – as of October 2013, there are more than 1 million – there are bound to be a few strange ones. Here are some of the weirdest apps I found:
1. iVoodoo ($2.99): If you’ve ever felt the need to covertly curse your enemies with bodily harm, this app is for you. The app supports up to five dolls at one time and lets you choose pins and the location at which you’d like to stick ‘em. If you’re a well-wisher, fret not because you can also choose to stick your chosen dolls with positive vibes, such as power, success, and love.
2. Hello Cow ($0.99): You know what app the world really needs? A static image of a cow that moos when you tap it. While the app is supposedly marketed to babies, high-tech Generation Z children are not amused. One customer reviewer said the app was “too simple” for her 1-year-old granddaughter and that the child actually handed to phone back to her after looking at it.
3. Hold On! ($0.99): This is another app that makes you wonder exactly how many seconds the developers spent on the coding. Hold On! measures the amount of time you can spend holding on to a button in the app. The goal is to beat your personal best by pressing the button for as long as you can. The app is supposedly designed to improve your focus and perseverance. Eh… we’re not so sure about that.
4. Crack it & Break it! (Free): This is an app for the destructive little delinquent in all of us. If you enjoy spending your time breaking and destroying glass in a virtual simulation (complete with sound effects!), then this app is for you.
5. Pimple Popper ($1.99): This app does exactly what says it does. It lets you virtually pop pimples. You’re given a choice of 12 different faces and four different kinds of pimples. The ad panels attempt to convince you to buy the app by asking you to partake in the “ooey gooey goodness!”
6. Zips Lite (Free): “You know what the most thrilling part of my day is? Zipping up the fly to my pants,” said no one ever. This app simulates the excitement of zipping up your pants. If you upgrade, you can get women’s and men’s lingerie.
7. Melon Meter ($1.99): This app supposedly detects whether watermelons are ripe by analyzing the sound it makes when you place your phone flat on the middle of the melon and then knock on it. That won’t earn you any weird stares at the grocery store or anything…
It goes without saying that apps have become an integral part of our everyday lives. How would we know how to get dressed in the morning without the weather app? If you have any of the above seven apps on your phone, we are hardcore judging you. Just kidding… Happy downloading, collegiettes™!