It’s easy to live a life where we tell ourselves we have “no ragrets” because we can easily delete a text conversation, delete a number, delete an app or just delete an embarrassing photo and pretend the memories of our past got deleted along with it. Though it’s comforting as a survival tactic to actually believe our brains are hard-drives with finite memory space, we unfortunately do end up regretting some of our actions, big and small. But do not fear — you are not alone in this. Everyone experiences their fair share of facepalms to the head and “SMH” thoughts at ourselves.
1. Adding your grandma on Facebook
This seems like an innocent enough gesture. After all, she used to spoon-feed you apple sauce when you were little and let you stay up past 10 p.m. when she babysat you. Why shouldn’t she be your public friend on a social media platform? But the second you pressed the “accept” button, your timeline was suddenly inundated with comments about “how beautiful you look with the nice boy” and “wow! You look like you’ve gained weight! Beautiful.” This small kind gesture to the Rose, Miriam, Margery, Sylvia or whatever your grandma’s 1920s name is seemed like a fine idea at first, but the amount of tagged photos and comments on sloppy pictures of you that ensued may not have been worth it after all.
2. Texting your ex
You’ve just finished watching The Notebook for the second time this week, you’re missing your mom more than usual, and your roommates have been gone all weekend with their boyfriends. It’s a moment of weakness, but at 10 p.m. you shoot your ex that one word that highlights your vulnerability, your loneliness and your shame: “hey.” As soon as you see that delivered symbol change to “read,” your heart sinks, your shame boils and you immediately regret reaching out to this person who hasn’t had a presence in your life in months. You quickly realize he won’t be answering, and even if he did you don’t care. Send “sorry wrong person” or just delete the conversation from your phone, and move on with your life.
3. Posting a risky Instagram picture
Maybe it was a selfie that showed a little too much skin and was on the border of cute and trashy. Maybe it was a group picture that looked really great at 1 a.m., three glasses of wine deep. Maybe it was a throwback picture with a friend who is no longer your friend and may or may not want to set your hair on fire. Either way, you’ve definitely posted this picture before, and you definitely also deleted it if it didn’t get more than 100 likes. It just wasn’t worth the risk.
4. Eating a whole box of Krispy Kreme
The “Hot Now” sign was on, the glazed donuts were glistening, and you hadn’t eaten in, like, two full hours. You could’ve just bought one, but getting an entire dozen is just such a good deal, so you’re being fiscally responsible, right? Thirty minutes later, you can’t stand up, your paper hat has dropped onto the side of your head and you realize there is no way you will be able to wear tight-fitting clothing for the next week.
5. Going out the night before an exam
Honestly, this probably never seemed like a good idea. But you did not realize the full future scope of regret until you find yourself taking tequila shots with the bouncer at Fat Daddy’s at 2 a.m. with your exam only eight hours from then. Whether you somehow miraculously passed or not, you definitely took that exam with a funky smell, a messed-up stomach and smudges of makeup and regret on your face.
6. Really anything involving alcohol
Drunk Snapchats, drunk Snapchat stories, drunk eating, drunk falling and the mornings after anything drunk. You don’t feel good, you don’t smell good, and you probably will find yourself thinking that maybe you should’ve just stayed in and called it a night. But, no ragrets, right?
Let’s be real, though. We’ll keep making these cringe-worthy mistakes again and again — it’s practically what makes us human. You just have to shrug it off, keep smiling and power through. Take comfort in the fact that we’re all fallible, so you’re not alone when you have that “facepalm” moment.
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