The 15 Stages of Walking Through Turlington Plaza

Turlington Plaza is otherwise known as a bustling hub of forced social interaction you don’t want to partake in.  Though often avoided to the best of your abilities, this path is one every student is forced to take at some point. It seems everyone has the same thoughts when strolling through this infamous walkway. Here are a few things that have all crossed our minds while power walking to our 11:45 a.m. class:

1. "Ugh, five minutes until my class starts. There’s no way I can get there without going through here."

2. "I really regret only putting mascara on one eye this morning."

3. "Maybe if I look intensely interested in my shoes, no one will try to give me their fliers."

4. "How is it that every phantom of my past is a director for Gator Growl and their tabling times sync perfectly with my class schedule?"

5. "Oh, that guy’s Chick-fil-A looks really good, but I don’t have an hour to spare to wait in that line."

6. "Maybe I’ll join one of these multicultural fraternities; the jackets look pretty tight."

7. "Okay, am I the only one that kind of thinks Humans vs. Zombies looks really fun?"

8. "Cyclists are the bane of my existence and must be eradicated from this Earth stat."

9. "Okay, I think the coast is clea — oh nope I know him. Look down. Evade. Evade. Evade."

10. "Jamba Juice sounds really good right now. Too bad I only have $2.47 in my bank account."

11. "I wonder if all these people are members of a flash mob. That would be so embarrassing if they all started dancing right now and I didn’t know the moves. I could probably pick it up though. I’m a quick learner."

12. "Okay, seriously? Why would you ride a bike through Turlington?!"

13. "No, thank you; I don’t want your fli — oh, that’s candy? Yes. Please. I want. Thank you."

14. "Oh thank god I made it; I’m out."

15. "Now I can enjoy 50 minutes of peace until I have to come back."

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of walking through the glorious area of campus known as Turlington Plaza, I can guarantee at least half of these thoughts have passed through your mind. Good luck avoiding the plethora of fliers on the way to class this week, collegiettes™!