Boys are the worst. I proved that in my article 8 Real Life Examples of Why Boys are the Worst. Because of this, girls have had to learn defense mechanisms to deal with all the shit they put us through – some eat a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, some sing sad songs at the top of their lungs and some do some really savage things in retaliation to these f*ckboys. So I decided to do somewhat of a sequel to my last article about real life examples of these ruthless things girls have done as revenge for guys messing with the wrong gender.
1. “My boss went to UF many moons ago, and this boy was being mean to her so she called every pizza place in Gainesville, had pizzas sent to his house, and said they were going to pay in cash. She was parked nearby and got to watch the whole thing.”
2. “A boy told me he could do better than me, so I put slices of cheddar cheese all over his $150,000 car.”
3. “I found out that this guy I was hooking up with my freshman year had a girlfriend, so when he asked me to come over, I screenshot a picture of our text convo, uploaded it to Twitter, tagged his girlfriend and left it at that.”
4. “When my ex and I were on a break, he had sex with one of my friends. I didn’t find out for a long time, but when I did, I sat down with her and had a really long conversation where she told me what happened (in detail). I, being a psycho, recorded the entire conversation as a voice memo. When I confronted him, he denied it, so I just sent him the voice memo and told him to listen and try denying it again. He confessed shortly after.”
5. “A couple of years ago, there was a girl that spray painted ‘Get Tested’ on a car outside of Sigma Nu.”
6. “I was at work and this guy needed a ride home (because he was too drunk and I was sober at work). So he waited for me to get off and I drove his truck back to his ‘house.’ Not knowing he still lived with his mom, I walked in the house, and he told me I couldn’t leave or it would wake his mom up. So I waited for him to fall asleep, drove his car back to the bar, and parked it in the tow away zone at work. He woke up to no truck or girl and that makes me very happy.”
7. “My roommate once made a dart board with pictures of my ex that she printed off Facebook before she even knew him. Later on in the relationship, when we broke up for good, she told me to get in the car with her. She drove to a random street, pulled out a picture of him and repeatedly ran it over. She kept asking me, ‘Doesn’t this feel amazing??!!’ even though she was driving the car, not me.”
8. “My friend from my internship over the summer saw her best friend’s ex-boyfriend’s car in a parking lot. So, she went in a supermarket, bought a potato and stuck it in his exhaust pipe. Apparently had cheated on her best friend.”
9. “This guy incessantly tried to hookup with me for like 3 months and then we finally hooked up, and he completely stopped all communication. But I definitely win because my dad is his dentist.”
10. “Once, a boy venmoed me for Plan B, and I bought a pair of shoes with the money. Wait, am I doing this right?”
11. “This boy wasn’t mean to me, but one time I was hooking up with a guy when the pizza man showed up, so I faked an orgasm, took the pizza and left.”
Boys are never going to stop being the worst, but that doesn’t mean we have to put up with it. As ridiculous as some of these may seem, maybe it’s time we all make our anthem Taylor Swift’s “Better Than Revenge” when a f*ckboy does us wrong.