There might come a time in your life when you want to spice up your love life and sexting might just be the answer. You might have thought about sexting before but because of all the stories and negative connotations that surround it decided against it. I have put together a short but essential list of the six do’s and don’ts to follow if you’re new to sexting. Enjoy!
1. Establish Some Ground Rules.
It is essential before you hit send on that nude or dirty text that you speak to your partner about the idea of sexting. It is important that you and your partner have both agreed to try sexting because CONSENT allows you both to enjoy it without the fear of losing or disappointing your partner. Try talking about what is okay and what is not okay and establish how far you will and won’t go during sexting. The worst thing is sitting in a lecture and opening up a d*ck pic… I mean am I right?
2. Start Slow and Build the Tension.
For some people, sexting and dirty talk might come easy because of the relationship they have with their partners or their natural ability to shift in and out of conversations. Don’t read too much into the first few messages. It might be awkward at the beginning but try and relax. Keep sexting and you will soon find your groove. Don’t be ashamed or self-conscious of what you are saying. This is why you establish consent. Just be open and honest; it could be a free and liberating experience.
3. Jog their Memory.
There might come a point in the conversation when you are unsure of what to say next to keep the sexting going. Some suggest bringing up a past experience you and your partner have both shared whether it be sexual or not. Bringing up a time that you have spent together will allow you and your partner to get on the same page. By connecting to the same memory, you are both able to recreate a sexual narrative together and allow yourselves to continue sexting.
4. Be Vocal.
Do you like or hate what your partner is saying? Tell them.
It is important that from the time you begin your sexting journey that you both are able to be honest and comfortable with one another. Being honest about what you like and don’t like is essential in creating a true narrative between you and your partner. Your partner cannot see you and so you have to establish honest communication together where you are vocal about what you are thinking and what you like and don’t like. Try and steer the sexts towards something you do enjoy if you don’t like how it is going down.
5. Don’t Send Pictures that Include Your Face.
This should be self-explanatory but do not send any pictures to your partner that show any characteristics that people could use to identify you: birthmarks, your face and so on. By excluding your face, you are keeping yourself safe from leaked photos, blackmail, jealous exes and cyber hacks. You will thank me later.
6. Be Playful while Pushing Boundaries.
The single most important thing to remember when it comes to sexting is to have fun. Don’t put yourself and your partner under unnecessary pressure to be the perfect sexters; there is no such thing. Each person is different and we all respond differently to ideas and language. Try to establish your very own secret language with your partner for certain positions or actions. If you want to try something new you guys might not have done before, go for it. This will help your partner to know what you like and what you think is hot.
Stay in control of what you are putting out into the world and remember social media is forever, so be safe when sexting. Also, it doesn’t cause pregnancy so there’s that.