University has morphed me into a nomad with no settled schedule, following whichever deadline I have left to the very last minute, or “five-minute” conversations to distract myself from an impending deadline looming closer and closer as no progression towards completion of the assignment is made. All of my time is spent working, stressing about work, avoiding work, and stressing about the neglect of my academic pursuits. I know that I am not alone in having a life inundated with stress. I have spoken to countless friends who share similar experiences of falling asleep on the couch while working, or having to stay on campus until the witching hour just to get that assignment in a split second before it’s due. Amongst all the chatter about how it was possible for the UCT planning team to conceive of a nine-week long term, the phrase “self-care” has been thrown around a lot within the social settings I meander on campus. I have to admit that I had to hold back snorting laughter when a friend responded to my question of whether she had gotten any work done on the weekend with, “No, but a lot of self-care did”. As the child of South-East Asian parents, who embody the stereotypes in Superwoman’s videos parodying her parent’s, self-care instinctively seemed like a self-indulgent practice reserved for the rich who have time to set aside “mental health days” for reflexology massages and bourgeois bubble baths.
In retrospect, I see how wrong this initial reaction was when I realized that I am going to be myself for as long as my consciousness is situated on this planet, and that means that learning to love myself is not only essential to assuaging stress, but also to survival and thriving. Self–love is not merely about making a proclamation to oneself; rather it is about doing the day to day work to care for yourself.
But what does self–care really mean? On a basic level, it is about performing the emotional and physical praxis that are imperative for self-regulation. I think the tweet that argues “True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from” sums it up perfectly. And yet how to broach looking after yourself with the budget and time constraints of the pandemonium that is student life can be overwhelming in and of itself. What follows is a practical way to integrate self–care rituals into the busyness and cheapness of student life.
First things first: You need to get a diary (if you don’t have one already) to put down due dates and schedules. Getting one will quite literally save your whole university career so that you know what academic and other personal obligations (like looking after your physical health) you have and how are going to fit it into your daily life. People tend to spend endless amounts of time on a schedule and then end up throwing it away to the dogs because they have constructed a confining list of things that they “have” to do with no end or rewards in sight. I don’t know about you, but this kind of imprisoning structure just makes me want to say f**k it and binge watch Jane the Virgin instead. Make a schedule where you start small, where you realistically see yourself accomplishing tasks, give yourself tiny rewards for sticking to it, and most importantly give yourself room to not follow it perfectly and forgiving yourself when you don’t. This approach not only alleviates stress related to guilt, but also helps you to not feel as if you’re constantly on edge running or avoiding one deadline to the next.
Before I get onto how to practice self-care when you are broke, I want to give you a money, time and stress saving tip I wish I had received in the first year of university: Go onto YouTube and watch videos on how to meal prep in 2 hours or less so that you can make lunches for the entire week and defrost them as the week goes by. This doesn’t merely save you time and money spent in never-ending cues, but prevents that looming first-year spread. As for getting in some tender loving care without a bazillionaires budget: know it is possible to find ways to relax without spending money.
You can do these things alone or in the company of friends (whatever soothes you best in your moment of stress!) :
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Take Hiddingh Jammie and listen to music while watching the squirrels at the Company Gardens, or take it to go to one of the many free Book Lounge events (free wine included) to get you out of the zone that triggers your stress.
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Other things that cost zero cents and that can be done in complete solitude or amongst friends: Screaming in an open field or above the escalators of a shopping mall, window shopping, crying your heart out while spooning with your friend or significant other, breaking items that you’re comfortable letting go, journaling, creating art that is bad but aptly captures your emotions and setting it aflame, collaging, cleaning and reorganizing your room, or playing and having photoshoots with cute younger siblings or family friends .
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You could literally just watch Netflix and bite into a homemade cheese toastie, or download the podcast app with eduroam and listen to podcasts while washing the dishes.
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If you are struggling with vegging out in front of the television or on the internet too much, taking a break from the ‘gram and Netflix by pausing your accounts can be an effective way to save money and calm any anxieties you have about your performed life vs the actual one you lead (when constantly snacking in your pajamas).
All of these cheap relaxing techniques sound good and well, but part and parcel of being a uni student is that you are constantly stretched for time. Firstly, if you are on the train of having a list of never-ending things you need to catch up, just give into the reality that you won’t be able to do it all and aim to finish only the most crucial things in one big bout so you can get it over and done with (remember to treat yourself in the end). If you have social commitments with your friends that you pragmatically do not have the time or emotional energy to squeeze in, cancel them. Your friends will forgive you. It is better to spend time with those who you care for when you are fully present and not dreaming of sleep.
If you are studying for a big test or finishing a big assignment, switch your phone on airplane mode or give it to a friend or parent until you are finished so that you do not get distracted. Alternatively, download an app like freedom which forces you to work for a certain period of time and blocks out the websites that trap you into a black hole of procrastination. To maintain motivation through these huge piles of work, take five to ten-minute dancing/snack breaks (preferably to Nicki Minaj’s ‘Monster’ verse) every 25 to 30 minutes because it’s scientifically proven that you can only focus for this amount of time. If you’re not getting enough sleep, instead of a two-minute shower try a two-minute ice-cold shower in the morning and some black coffee or green tea to give you an adrenalin kick. Also, there is no shame in maneuvering your way into extra sleep by taking naps at lunch on campus on those big fat seats in Snape or bring a cozy hoodie and go down to the basement of the library.
Practicing self–care with or without time and budget constraints is about finding what works best for you, and remembering that these little things are good deeds towards yourself whom you love and want to get through whatever life shoves your way.