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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCT chapter.

From the dawn of humanity, community has been emphasised, and it is through reflecting on our lives that we can see how it plays a crucial role in our day-to-day functioning. It is often in the absence of friendships that we truly see its importance, feeling like we lack community. Being overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness can make going about one’s day harder than it needs to be as we enter a “season” of loneliness. Let’s navigate this loneliness, as well as the feelings accompanying friendship breakups, together to help us deal with it better.

say goodbye to the scarcity mindset

A key way to navigate a friendship breakup is to let go of the scarcity mindset and remember that you lack nothing. We often go through life with a mindset of lack, fearing that we aren’t enough or that we’ve failed, which can lead us to struggle with friendship breakups. Immediately after the loss of a friendship, we are overwhelmed with thoughts that we’ll never find companionship to that degree again, that we now “lack” deeper connections. However, this is not true. Losing a friend just means that we are yet to meet the people who will have a truly profound impact on our lives, flipping our world on its axis. But, finding them is only possible when we choose to have an abundant mindset. To walk through life knowing that you lack nothing will be your source of comfort when relationships run their course. Not only will this mindset soften the blow of friendship breakups, but it will allow your peace and happiness to rest in no one else’s hands except your own. 

change your perspective

Changing our mindsets allows us to deal with people leaving and entering our lives in healthier ways, and this is no different when it comes to dealing with loneliness. Upon reading 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, I came across a profound sentence which changed my perception of loneliness. While we may look at our isolation season as a dark tunnel to rush out of, through reading Brianna Wiest’s belief that “suffering can be likened to the human equivalent of metamorphosis- where in the darkness we will find our way to the light” my perception of the isolation season was truly changed. It was upon realising how crucial this season is that I was able to navigate it better. Instead of wallowing in my perceived loneliness, I realized that being alone does not have to equate to loneliness. With this mindset, I have been able to use this season to grow and discover myself in ways that I have not been able to before.

live for yourself

A leading contributor to feeling lonely and struggling with friendship breakups is the fact that we compare ourselves to those around us. It can be hard to see everyone around you in what appears to be perfect friendships and never alone, but this need not discourage you. Look at this time in your life as a season where, ultimately, this too shall pass. While you are in it, however, you can take this time to know and expand yourself so that the friendships you eventually do build can see the best version of you. Try new hobbies, journal often, romanticize your time alone, use your free weekends for schoolwork, spend time nurturing your present relationships, and be grateful for where you are. To help this, here are some of our tips for maintaining the relationships you do have, and helping yourself.

There is something to be learned from friendship breakups and seasons of loneliness, so take this time to uncover what that is. I can guarantee you that this change in mindset will help you better navigate loneliness and friendship breakups.

I am a final year student doing a Bachelor of Arts majoring in History, Politics & Media Studies. I enjoy reading, writing and have an obsession with podcasts. I truly believe learning is a privilege we should all rush to take a hold of and I seek to have my platform embody this belief.