The internet is a wonderful and dangerous place. Over the last decade, it has been a source of information, entertainment and sometimes, unfortunately, controversy. It is a product of the society – a society with a melting pot of cultures, religions, ethnicities and beliefs. These aspects are constantly changing and evolving as time progresses, usually for the better. One of the aspects that many people consider to be a major part of their identity would be their pronouns, as they are the very words that people use to refer to you besides using your name. They are often taken for granted, but, in this day and age, taking pronouns seriously should be a must.
Preferred pronouns
In many languages, when we speak of people, a gender is implied, such as “she” or “he.” However, that does not necessarily mean that they are always the ones people prefer. Gender is a spectrum, and using certain pronouns based on one’s appearance could be harmful.
Many people on the internet have taken to putting their preferred pronouns on their profiles in some way or the other. On Twitter, one would often see a person put “he/him” or “they/them” in their bio or in their display name. To do so is a declaration of their identity, which makes misgendering (to call somebody by pronouns they do not identify as) less common.
The problem
It is understandable that the world still has a long way to go when it comes to tolerance and education around this topic. The concept of which terms are offensive, which terms are correct and which terms are frowned upon is constantly changing. However, it cannot be denied that the impact of social media is instrumental in fueling this worrisome school of thought.
The concept of “edgy humour” popularized over the internet is quite easy to get caught up in misgendering people for the sake of “laughs”, but in reality, just who is laughing? It is one thing to misgender someone by accident, based on their appearance, but to intentionally misgender someone is harmful. According to a study conducted in 2015, more than 30% of transgender and non-binary individuals experience some kind of stigma surrounding their gender identity throughout their lives. Along with this stigma comes low self-esteem, self-doubt and overall negativity. So, “edgy humour” surrounding misgendering is not quite as funny as people make it out to be.
Should I specify my preferred pronouns on social media?
Why not? It is always helpful to remind people how people should refer to you and be assertive about that. Pronouns are not just for people who do not fit into a binary view of gender – pronouns are just as important for allies as well. The more stating your pronouns is normalized, the better it will be. Regardless of religious, cultural or personal beliefs, respecting the identity of a person is the least people can do as fellow allies and as fellow humans. Allies are not simply something you are – they are a call to action.
Stay informed. Stay active. And, most importantly, in this day and age, stay safe.