Trigger Warning: This article discusses sexual assault and bodily assault and murder, as well as violence towards women in all forms – verbal, emotional, mental and physical abuse. Note that some of the embedded links in this article link to/open articles that contain this triggering content as well.
One of the earliest lines of Dua Lipa’s 2020 song Boys Will Be Boys neatly surmmarises the effects of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) on women. In the second line of the song, Lipa notes that it’s “second nature” for women to place their keys between their knuckles, in case of an attack. In total, the line points to the commonality, universality even, of gender-based violence for women. It also points to women’s general awareness of the fact that violence – sexual, physical, and verbal – could befall them at any moment, particularly whilst they’re alone.
The recent murder of London resident Sarah Everard has, due to the circumstances of her murder (she was walking home when she was abducted and murdered by a policeman), once more pointed to how commonplace gender-based violence is.
Like the scenario Lipa sketches, Everard was in an already risky position merely by walking home. In fact, in an article covering her murder from The Atlantic, it is noted that Everard “did everything right” – she wore bright clothing, walked in an area where she would be visible at times, was also at times in view of CCTV cameras and contacted her partner whilst walking: all the steps required for women to lower the risk of being attacked, assaulted or, like Sarah Everard, murdered.
The fact that The Atlantic article in question even had to mention, albeit in a manner which defends that women should not have to do “everything right”, how Sarah Everard “did everything right” points to how much of a pre-condition this is for women. That is, that there are rules to follow, across society, which help lower the risk of women being attacked or even worse.
Yet, as a Harper’s Bazaar article notes, this means of framing the conversation around gender-based violence has the unfortunate side-effect of placing responsibility solely on women, both cisgender and trans. Ultimately, the question raised is always: what can – and indeed, must – women do to avoid having violence visited upon them?
In the case of Sarah Everard, she was noted by The Atlantic to have followed the rules. Yet, there is an obvious flip side of these rules: it is predominantly men who are the cause of (and perpetrators behind) gender-based violence. This is a fact that is less challenged, in general. Why is it that women are constantly made aware of the several rules they need to follow to ensure their safety, but men aren’t similarly taught – at least not widely enough – to respect women, and intercede when their male compatriots perpetuate sexism or violence towards women?
When will the education of young men rank alongside the widespread awareness campaigns that often raise the issues of GBV, including how to aid victims. Until this focus is on par with those campaigns already aimed at defending women’s rights, I do not see how the necessary societal shifts towards a more equal, safe world can occur.
Sadly, the question of how to achieve this is a multifaceted and complex one. After all, it was a policeman who murdered Sarah Everard. Thus, her death is, chillingly, a key example of the ways in which violence against women is not only widespread, but systemic. Patriarchy enables even a seemingly protective structure like that of the law enforcement to employ men capable of horrific violence in a role that calls on them to perform duties counter to inflicting pain.
The task of altering – or remaking – whole societal systems and institutions is a hefty one, and it will require much collective effort from both men and women. However, to perhaps counter the hopelessness that especially marks Sarah Everard’s murder, I would put forward that her death is a pressing reminder to us all to then, if we cannot envision changing the whole of society, especially amidst a global pandemic, simply to do what we can, where we can.
Right about now would be the moment where I perhaps suggest that we each do what we can, where we can, before raising the example of refuting a friend who perpetuates casual sexism in front of you. But this is precisely the sort of advice that exemplifies the problem I highlighted earlier: why should it fall on women to correct men? Men should improve themselves!
This, is perhaps the reminder that Sarah Everard’s tragic murder provides us with, if nothing else: that is far past time for men to take accountability for themselves, and learn to bestow on women – all women, regardless of their race, gender-alignment, age and so forth – the respect and dignity they are due.
Goodness knows women are finished waiting for this to happen.