Let’s talk about group work (I know, ew). This can go either way, on the one hand some people appreciate the shared responsibility, while others…not so much. To some, it means only focusing on only one part of the assigned task, (give or take one or two pages instead of six) then I mean who’s complaining? Well, a lot of us. Meetups, unwanted group chats, assigning and dividing tasks that are never completely fair, and the constant fear that you truly are, the weakest link in the group. Not the most intriguing and in complete honesty, pretty intimidating.
Now, let’s think of group work as a metaphor (can you tell I’m an English Lit major?). You have those who are front and center, saying what’s on their mind, others who are shy and introverted, one who volunteers to take the leadership role that no one really thought was necessary and others that either flake on important meetings, don’t make the deadline, slack off or are just unreliable. Let’s not forget about the one that’s overly excited about group work and the ‘bonding experience’.
So, much like group work, the social system at university may be a letdown. The constant pressure of finding like-minded people to sit and have this amazing university experience with is tedious. As many college movies suggest, university will be the best time of your life. Meeting new and interesting people, going to res parties, hooking up with your crush, dropping your books on the floor only for it to be picked up by an attractive human that stares deeply into your eyes and accidently brushes their hand on yours while giving back your perfectly highlighted notes and textbooks. Sorry to be the pessimist here but that, much like group work, doesn’t appeal to many students.
Being socially awkward, shy and/or continuously battling social anxiety makes it incredibly difficult for many to interact and make the first move by introducing yourself in the hopes of making friends. Group work may not be desired but it is required. Finding your perfect social group may not be desired and lucky for you, it’s not required either. It’s okay for you to walk around campus, earphones in, bopping to your music and going about your day. Socializing and interacting with people may not be your strong point and that’s okay, it doesn’t have to be.
We are made to think from a young age being alone amongst a sea of people is weird, embarrassing and lonely. From creche till high school we are taught to play together, include everyone, encouraged to join societies, sports teams and take part in arts and culture extra mural activities to interact and be a part of something, anything that involves students with the same interests as you. What if you prefer being alone? Well then you won’t get a participation medal and certificate to show your parents, obviously. And we all know how important that is.
Being at university, you have options. Whether you’re searching for that college movie-like experience or simply wanting to get your degree with no distractions and have no interest in associating with people. That decision is completely up to you. Somedays are better than others and being by yourself with your thoughts may be what is best for you at the time. You should not have to justify why you prefer being alone nor should you feel embarrassed about walking or sitting alone. With that said, there are times you can’t find your friend/s and you feel like a lost fart trying to subtly look for them.
Here are some tips to help:
Walk with a purpose Even if you have no idea where you going, you can still pretend. Message the group chat Create a group chat with your uni friends and message them to find out where they’ll be after your class, that way you not walking up and down trying to find Jarred when his been in the class next to yours all that time. Meeting spot Distinguish a meeting spot before you head to class so that you know exactly where to go afterwards. Adjust Walk slowly to look for your friend/s while adjusting your clothes or hair, putting on Vaseline, untangling your earphones. Anything to keep your hands busy so it’s not brushing against your sides not knowing how to act.
If you’re comfortable being lost with no friend in sight then congratulations, I envy you. But don’t be fooled by a group of friends looking like they’re having a great time, it may just be a group project no one wants to be apart of.