I always admire people who gracefully move from one situation, place or lover to the next; the ones who understand and healthily accept the state of flux we find ourselves in. I wish I could say I’m always one of those people, but sometimes coping with change doesn’t come to me as easily as I’d like. I know I’m not alone in this.
Change can be a total b-word, often leaving you feeling hopeless. When things are going great, the last thing we want is to have that taken away from us. Some may find it harder to accept the inevitability of it all. I mean, how do you fully enjoy the present when you must acknowledge that things could change at any given time? Well, I’ve noticed that it’s usually the people who welcome change with open arms that are the ones who are juicing life of all its wonderful joys.
So, how do you become one of these people, you may ask. One thing I know for sure that can ease some of the anxiety of change is our mindset towards it. Here’s how:
1. Be honest with yourself
With a big external change comes an even greater internal one. Allow yourself to work through these feelings. It’s dealing with internal change that’s the real toughie here, so a moment of introspection is vital. You’ve got to ask yourself whether you’re having trouble dealing with the internal change because it’s something you genuinely didn’t want happening-or is it because the external change is uncomfortable and inconvenient for you?
Sometimes we make ourselves believe that we’re more emotionally invested in something than we really are. The sooner you address the inner turmoil, the sooner you can work through it.
2. Take control
Working through your feelings is healthy and necessary, but at some point, you’re going to have to assume the driver’s seat in your life again. Once any changes occur, it becomes a thing of the past. The more we dwell on it, the more we’re stuck in a timeframe where those unrestful feelings seem fresh and relevant.
Your reaction to change is everything because it’s something you DO have control over. It starts with you. To quote the great Rumi, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Listen to Rumi, kids.
3. Have an emotional safety net
Get help and guidance where you can. Talk to people who have been through your situation. You’ll be surprised by how refreshing it is just to have someone who understands, someone who makes you feel like you’re not alone- because you’re not.
4. Show change who’s boss
A good way to embrace change is to willingly make a positive change yourself. Whether it be getting a new hobby, pet, going for jogs or switching up your hairstyle, changing something feels like a fresh start and gives you a sense of control in your life once again.
Avoid using a YouTube tutorial to cut your bangs though, I said positive changes!
5. Recognize your progress
Journal.
Oh no, not another piece of advice telling you to write down your feelings. *Yawns*
Honestly, there’s no feeling like reading past journal entries and thinking “wow, I’m so glad I’m not that much of a dumbass anymore.” Our journal entries are like past papers for when we’re going through something similar in future- no Vula login required.
6. Remember, not all change is bad
You know when you’re on Google Maps and you end up taking the wrong route and it redirects you to get back to your destination, just not in the same way you were planning. Maybe the new route’s scenery has some beautiful trees, less potholes and the possibility of driving past a hottie or two.
In a nutshell, my message would be:
Be the human Google Maps, trust in the new route. Some changes really do lead you to way better things. And if they lead you to worse things, remember that if good things are temporary, then so are bad ones.