Picture this: you’re on your way to campus, it’s one of those mornings where your alarm never went off and now you’re running especially late and without having had your morning coffee. You’re trying your best to get to class on time and to make matters worse, someone cuts you off in traffic or gets stuck on the road, delaying everyone’s travel time. How convenient, right?
Suddenly the person cutting you off becomes the worst human being on the planet- or at least wins ‘douchebag of the day’ in your books. How dare their lives play out in a way that inconveniences yours?
I’m sure this sounds somewhat familiar to all of us as it’s only human to respond like this sometimes. Turns out, it’s a social psychology term called ‘Fundamental Attribution Error.’ According to Simply Psychology, it suggests that “people have a cognitive bias to assume that a person’s actions depend on what “kind” of person that person is rather than on the social and environmental forces that influence the person.”
Basically, it means that we make assumptions about people without fully knowing the reason behind their situations, choices or behaviour. We draw conclusions about them and assume that one negative encounter we have with someone is an accurate representation of who they are.
Here’s a little clip explaining it:
Consider all the times you’ve wrongfully judged someone or assumed they were being totally unnecessary, only to find out there was a valid reason behind their actions or mood. Perhaps you thought someone wasn’t very pleasant but turns out, they’re the nicest person and you just caught them on a bad day.
Side note: this does not include anyone spewing hate speech or harming others, avoid those people at all costs.
Maybe getting to know the backstory or at least being mindful of the fact that there is a back story wouldn’t hurt anyone? As unsettling as it is for someone to be of an “inconvenience” or unkind to you, understand that nobody is actively trying to ruin your day. Nobody wakes up first thing in the morning and thinks, “hmmm, you know what? I think I’m going to ruin [mentally insert your name here]’s day today.”
Understandably, this is all relative. I’m sure there a few people out there who do think this way, in which case, do not deserve your empathy at all. But in most cases, keeping an open mind about people seems pretty fair. I mean, how many times have you messed up or felt bad about a situation and wished someone had heard you out, cut you some slack or knew what you were going through? I think we could all do with a little empathy.
Now I know there’s no excuse for someone to be mean because they’re in a bad mood, but not everyone is as good at dealing with their emotions as others. If that’s not enough to make you consider giving others the benefit of the doubt, at least do it for yourself. Not getting worked up about situations or emotions beyond your control will bring you so much more peace.
So next time someone cuts you off in traffic, think about how they’re excitedly rushing to get their new puppy or something. Now you’re thinking about puppies. See, day instantly a little brighter.