If you’re like me, you might have had a bit of a rocky relationship with your family as a teenager. I didn’t always see eye to eye with my family when I was in middle and high school, but once I began college, I started to mature and appreciate everything that they had done for me. However, when I began college, I moved hundreds of miles away from home, making it harder to develop a healthier relationship with my family. Here are some ways that helped me reconnect with my family when I wasn’t living with them.
Find games and activities that you can do virtually
My family loves board games and card games. We even have traditions based around games! However, we have had to think creatively in order to play games together virtually. One of our favorite games that has translated well to a video chat environment is Codenames because my family can easily send me pictures of the cards or we can play the online version.
Spend one on one time with your siblings (if you have them)
When my brother and I were in elementary school, we used to play together almost every day. When we were teenagers, we weren’t as close because we were both busy with our own school work and activities. Then, when the pandemic hit, we started spending more time together again and I realized how fortunate I was to have him as a lifelong friend. We’ve both matured quite a bit, but we found that we still have several common interests. For example, we both love playing and writing music and we both enjoy word games. Our parents don’t like either of these activities, so it has been fun to do them with each other.
When you’re home, do extra housework voluntarily
As a child, I did as little housework as I could get away with, a common tactic amongst children. Although I’m certainly not perfect, I’m much more eager to help my family now than I used to be. For example, helping my mom in the kitchen or running errands with my dad are great ways to spend some time with them since they’re usually busy. If I’m on break and they aren’t, this also frees up some of their time so that they have more time to do fun activities with me while I am home. This is important for me because in my family, acts of service is a prominent love language. It might be different for you, so think about what your family values and how you can incorporate it into your relationship with them.
Send your extended family updates and pictures
I was lucky enough to grow up close to many of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and I missed them when I moved away from home. During my first and second years of college, I emailed my extended family life updates (classes, jobs, experiences, etc.) along with any pictures that I had taken in the past few weeks. I would also ask how they were all doing. They enjoyed reading these emails and I enjoyed reading their responses.
Ask them for advice
This one depends on your family, but I think my parents have struggled a bit with my newfound independence because they worry that I no longer need them as much anymore. This is far from the truth, so I try to ask them for advice whenever it is appropriate. They are often excited to still be able to help me and are more than willing to do so. For example, my mom loves finding jobs for people, so I ask her for advice when I see a job posting that I am interested in, and my dad is proficient with Microsoft Excel, so I ask him questions when I don’t know which function to use.
Although I miss my family, being away from them has actually improved our bond in some ways because the time that we spend together is even more valuable. I hope this list gave you some ideas for strengthening your relationship with your family or any other important people in your life!