Throughout my short life, I’ve experienced a plethora of toxic friends. However, since I was too focused on how much fun I had with them, I didn’t realize how draining they were to be around. By rehashing all of my failed friendships, I found a few similarities that can help other people easily identify a toxic friend.
They Don’t Make You A Better Person…
A friend that makes you a better person would push you to get rid of your bad habits or bad qualities. For example, if you lack empathy, a good friend would teach you how to feel for other people and radiate kindness a little better. A companion with good energy and habits will always rub off on you. Have you ever heard the term “you are who you surround yourself with”? It’s entirely true; being around nasty people all of the time will drag you down, and you’ll start to develop their qualities, even their terminology. My best friends and I just talked about how we steal each other’s sayings; the more you hang around people, the more you’ll act like them. Surround yourself with positive, whole-hearted, kind, and intelligent people if you want to be better.
They Are An “Energy Vampire”…
I’ve been using this term more often since I discovered what it truly means and noticed how many people fall under this category. An “energy vampire” is a person who drains your energy, motivation, and happiness in various ways. Most energy vampires will never have anything positive to say about anyone or anything. We all have our trauma, and not everything is rainbows and butterflies all of the time, but not being able to find the light in anything is highly unhealthy. A friend who is an energy vampire will often only share drama or start it. They have the potential to turn anything positive into a negative situation.
They Spend Time With You Only When It’s Convenient…
These “friends” will only text you when it benefits them or when they need something. For example, I was at home and within 45 minutes of UCSD during my online quarter. My friends at the time would only call me when they needed to rant about the other friend in our trio or when they wanted me to pick them up. I was rarely asked how I was holding up or what was new in my life. They only called when no one else was available. If you constantly have to be the first to reach out to these friends, be warned. It’s like watering rotten plants. Why would you water a rotten plant if there’s no saving it? Why would you entertain a toxic one-sided friendship if being a negative person is part of who they are?
They Don’t Clap When You Win…
Good friends feel ecstatic at your winnings and accomplishments. They encourage you to be the most successful version of yourself. They should be some of your biggest cheerleaders and greatest motivators. However, your winnings shouldn’t be all they focus on. Valuable friends respectfully tell you when you’ve wronged and how to fix it. They should be able to help you along your journey to outstanding achievements.
They Can’t Take Responsibility…
If they have made a mistake, you attempt to confront them, and they break when it’s time to take responsibility for their actions, they’re toxic. You’ll always end up feeling bad when they are the ones who have wronged you. On the other hand, if something is bothering you and you bring it up to your friend, they should be willing to hear you and agree to fix their mistakes after coming up with a solution. If your friend makes you feel like everything is your fault and they tend to gaslight you, it’s time to distance yourself.
They Can Never Compliment You…
I adore it when my friends get dressed up and I’m able to tell them how beautiful they look; they never fail to make me feel like a gem when I’m dressed up. An old and toxic friend of mine would never compliment me, but they would look at me oddly when I’d put on a pretty dress. I almost felt as if they were judging me. Good friends should feel like a safe and cozy space, nothing less.
Never force a friendship; anything meant for you will never pass you by. Choose wisely.
They Don’t Make You A Better Person…