Not being able to peacefully coexist with something that is meant to ‘make you grow’ keeps you humble. I, a dairy survivor, can say, as of now, that I live in constant fear of dairy. But do I let this fear dictate my every move? Do I lurk around in the shadows hoping it doesn’t contain dairy? Or pray it doesn’t and if it does, live in the moment and suffer later? These are questions that humans, to this day, struggle with.
I eat dairy all the time. I also am lactose intolerant. So, you can see how my two actions don’t seem to align very well. After avoiding most of the food I liked because they all, thanks to the universe conspiring against me, contained dairy, I can’t say I was able to have too much fun. Having to sit on the sidelines while my friends ate ice cream from the small beach shop, which carried no dairy-free ice cream options, or paying the extra dollar at a cafe for oat milk were small things that didn’t bother me much. But, gradually, everything built up. Not being able to order what I really wanted at a restaurant or having to be that annoying person at the table who asks whether they can have a dairy-free substitute was fine for a while. It was a joke that everyone could laugh at. But what happens when the answer is no? Should I allow myself the pleasure of enjoying the ravioli, or should I go with the marina Bolognese, a safer option? At ice cream parlors, the universal dilemma of ordering the ugly dairy-free flavors or risking (temporary) irreparable pain and ordering the salted malted chocolate chip cookie dough pressures me to make a decision about how the night will end. Choosing the safe option offers a night of peace and tranquility, while choosing the dairy option, although offering fleeting happiness, will end with me desperately looking for a lactaid in my purse 10 minutes later.
Is this temporary feeling of control and non-guilt worth the trouble to come in the upcoming minutes? This question, which cannot be answered by most within their lifetime, is the bane of my existence. There is no right or wrong. This isn’t a black or white question; the answer here is gray. After much deliberation and many experiences, I think that I’ve come closer than ever to giving a definitive answer.
Yes.
I do think the pain, the twisted stomach, and stress of looking for Tums is worth the ice cream cone or the cheesy pasta. I don’t agree with the idea of living in constant fear of dairy, even though it has the potential to knock me out. Taking risks despite knowing the outcome adds to the experience. It makes you enjoy it with so much more enthusiasm. You can’t keep on living life in fear that something will go wrong, because the more you stress about it, the more it consumes your life. Of course, I didn’t develop an obsession with dairy. Simply being able to enjoy good food or good sweet treats add to my day, good or bad. Accepting that every action will ultimately have a consequence is a part of life, and life’s no fun if you’re constantly sitting things out. Lactaid is available everywhere; in case you decide to take the risk of indulging in delicious dairy products. As for those non-dairy risks, lactaid are those people who cheer you on for the new ‘mistakes’ you’re about to make!