Ask Jackie: Vol. 5

Ghosties in my dorm!!! How do I not be terrified (bc I am by myself all the time)?

As someone who used to live in Merrill A, there’s definitely some eerie energy in that building.  

You may not be able to sufficiently “cleanse” your dorm room given campus policy guidelines, but you can still do a few things to hopefully make you feel a little more protected from potential supernatural acquaintances. First, consider getting some nightlights if you don’t have any already! Nightlights, fairy lights, a fun lamp - anything that can provide a little light without being so bright that you can’t fall asleep. Also, try playing relaxing or upbeat music to distract yourself from any ghostly beings tormenting you. Lastly, try talking to your ghost acquaintances and turn them into new ghost friends! Make peace offerings, tell them about your day, read aloud to them. As silly as it sounds, treating your ghosts as friends may help normalize their presence and make them seem less threatening. Campus is lonely with most people gone anyways, so why not take this opportunity to make some new pals?

 

How do I deal with a codependent bff?

Dealing with a codependent bff can be really tricky. Friendships are always a give and take relationship, so it can be especially frustrating when someone is upsetting this balance. It’s more likely than not that your friend isn’t even aware of how codependent they're being, so approaching the situation from a position of genuine care and concern is the best route to take. It’s important to always prioritize your own mental health whenever dealing with someone struggling with codependency. Be sure to let your friend know about how you feel. Communicate to your friend that your needs matter and also need to be recognized. Focus on communicating how you feel rather than assigning them blame. Set clear boundaries, and avoid any passive aggressiveness towards them. Let them know that you can be a support system for them, but that you can’t be their only crutch they rely on. While this conversation may be awkward or uncomfortable, it’s very necessary to have in order to nurture a healthier relationship that you both can thrive in.