Alright, imagine this. You are hanging out with that cute guy you met at work. It’s all giggles and good conversation as he walks you home, and he wraps his jacket around your shoulders. He walks you to your front door and you look up at him through your lashes, trying to casually look like you are starring in a rom-com. Nailed it. He smiles and says “you know, you are…” you hold your breath “not like other girls.” You sigh, internally roll your eyes, mumble a “thanks” and go inside. Why? Because “not like other girls” is one of the most superficial, meaningless, and borderline offensive compliments a girl can receive.
First of all, what does “you’re not like other girls” even mean?
Image via giphy.com
From my research, and by research I mean complaining with my friends over varying caffeinated beverages, I concluded that “not like other girls” can imply several things: having male friends, liking stereotypically male activities such as sports and having beer with the guys, not showing frustration or jealousy in an expected way, not enjoying stereotypical female activities such as beauty routines and romantic comedies, or appearing to be especially authentic, original, or even remarkable.
It implies that girls are all the same.
Image via giphy.com
While writing this article, I stumbled upon an anonymous tweet stating “you’re not like other girls” is just a sexist way of saying “you’re surprisingly more human than I expected.” This definitely made me think about the compliment a little differently. The problematic “not like other girls” phrase assumes all girls act the same, based on societal expectations of women. These expectations include women acting catty, dramatic, superficial and appearance obsessed, as well as less intelligent or informed. So, when a guy says “you’re not like other girls” he is realizing that you, as a woman, do not fit the stereotypes and expectations that he has learned from society, and that you might be just as human as he is. Shocking.
Just tell me how you really feel instead.
Image via giphy.com
While “you’re not like other girls” implies so many things, it really means nothing. Besides the fact that this “compliment” is borderline sexist and rude, I also think that it is purely unoriginal. Go ahead and tell me I have pretty eyes while you’re at it, because that would be just as original. Call a girl authentic, funny, original, or interesting. Tell her that you think it is cool how she likes football, is so intelligent, has guy friends, can drink beer with the boys, or is so unapologetically herself. Tell her that.
There is nothing wrong with “other girls.”
Image via giphy.com
Do not give me some backhanded compliment pitting me against me against half of the population. Because you know what? I want to be exactly like other girls. Because other girls are AMAZING.