First loves are all about butterflies, cute dates, and a cluster of cliches, such as “I never knew I could feel this way about someone!” or “I will never love someone as much as I love you!”. You dive in fairly fearlessly, swept up in the new feelings and in this person who finally understands you, and despite all the reasons you don’t like yourself, they like you anyway. Hell, they love you anyway. It’s all sweet and innocent, and maybe you even think that this person is the person.
But, sadly for most of us, first love is synonymous with first heartbreak. Many people swear that they will love again because no one is worth giving yourself and your time to, just to experience this pain.
And then you meet your second love.
- Your second love is braver than your first.
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Theoretically, the first love knows what can go wrong, but they have not yet been met with the lonely, wine drinking, sobbing in the middle of the night and traumatizing reality of what a bad breakup can be. But the second love knows and yet, chooses to continue on and risk feeling that horrible again, because this new person is worth it.
- Your second love teaches you that you are compatible with more than one person.
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This ties back to those “I never knew I could feel this way about someone” or “I will never love someone as much as I love you” cliches I was talking about. For many people, their first love is the first person they really connect to, and it’s hard to imagine connecting to anyone else in the same way. But the second love shows you that you can be compatible with more than one person, and that is a beautiful realization.
- Your second love is unexpected.
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Maybe you called B.S. on the whole idea of love after losing your first, or maybe you were scared to get hurt again every time you even thought of starting to talk someone new. But all of a sudden, your second love comes along and changes all of that.
- Your second love deals with all the scars left from your first.
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After your first true breakup, whether you are the person that did the dumping or the one that got dumped, you were probably left with some damage and some questions. How much of it was your fault? Why didn’t they love you the way that they should have? How many of the same issues will you carry to the next relationship? The second love is most likely unable to answer any of these questions, but supports you as you struggle with this damage.
- Your second love shows you that you are strong enough to love again.
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During your first real breakup, it seems like maybe you won’t ever find someone else that you will love as much as you loved this seemingly perfect person. But, while your second love shows you a lot about love itself and a lot about them, they show you a lot about you. They show you that you are stronger than you were before when your heart was breaking. They show you that you are brave enough to make yourself vunerable again. And lastly, they show you that even if it doesn’t work out again, you will make it through. You are strong enough.