I have recently come to accept the fact that I’ll never be an ultra-marathon runner. I’ll never be a billionaire. I’ll never be an elite yogi, a president, an Academy award-winning actress, a musical prodigy, an intellectual savant, or an Olympic figure skater. I’ll probably never be any of those things, and yet, I think I am okay with that.
From birth until death (at least in Western society), we are bombarded with external messages telling us that achieving ultimate and visible success is the only way we can be happy. If you are not constantly being productive, working harder, and existing “smarter” than those around you, you will get left behind in a world that moves far too fast to slow down for your personal progress. The individualistic nature of our capitalist culture urges us to compete for gold stars, grades, Instagram followers, money, and prestigious titles in order to stand out amongst the crowd. We have romanticized the notion of reaching the top of the food chain. The pressure to excel is so great, it elicits an almost physical sense of anxiety, at least for me.
Though I never exactly expected to become rich and famous for my greatness, I have always felt like I had to be “good” at something to pursue it. As a kid, I remember quickly becoming frustrated when I did not innately pick up a new task or skill. If I was not praised for something, I did not want to continue it. I remember feeling embarrassed for making mistakes and found comfort in activities that were familiar to me. And yet, I think it is easy to mistake praise for enjoyment. Had I been praised for my artistic ability, I may have become a painter instead of an athlete in high school.
To this day, I still find myself hesitant to try new things just because I won’t be “good” at them. And when I do try them, I quickly find myself wanting to improve to feel competent. After I took up running, I wanted to train faster and run longer, even after multiple injuries and physical signs that long runs were not for me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to criticize the specialists and the celebrities. It is amazing to witness individuals dedicate their passion, energy, and time to causes they care about. The world would probably be a lot more boring and a lot less technologically advanced if we missed out on all of the benefits of their ambitions. Hard work, resilience, and dedication all deserve to be praised, and the immense sense of meaning we get when we accomplish a task or meet a goal is invaluable. But in the past, I have been guilty of giving up on something before I’ve even started just because I was afraid of failure. I want to dance and run and sing because it makes me happy, not because I think I look good doing it (which I definitely don’t). I’d like to imagine a world where we feel free to try new things and support others in doing the same.
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