Before entering college or our twenties, most of us may have heard that these years consist of some of the most exciting times of our life. It is a time filled with self-discovery, personal growth, and creating the person that we aspire to become someday. However, with the hustle and bustle of school, extracurriculars, internships, jobs, and attempting to balance a social life, that personal “me time” is often placed at the back burner whether we realize it or not. As important as those aspects are in our lives, it is equally crucial that we step back from the business of life, and give ourselves the proper nourishment we need in order to keep our hearts and minds fully alive. Thus, brings us to the art of dating yourself.
There are no right or wrong ways of going about it. “Dating yourself” is essentially intentional alone time. This may entail any activity that brings you happiness such as, seeing a movie, grabbing a meal, having a spa day, attending a show or concert, journaling, hiking, reading, exercising, painting, etc. When we allot time to purposefully get to know ourselves in a deeper way, a door to a plethora of experiences and opportunities opens, and possibly would not have presented itself because we had been so invested in our daily routines. These moments of solitude are intended to develop a healthy relationship with yourself and to discover personal characteristics that may never have existed. Initially, this idea may feel strange and overwhelming, but here are some of the general effects of dating yourself:
Gain of independence
Dating yourself allows you to take initiative in decisions and simply delight in alone time, without having to rely on the company of others to enjoy a moment. This teaches us how to maintain a healthy balance of happiness while being in a relationship and in solitude.
Openness to uncomfortable moments
We grow the most when we are out of comfort zones. As awkward and foreign as it may be to go solo for some people, dating yourself not only opens up the opportunity for new experiences, but also teaches us to embrace the ambiguity. Either way, there may be a good lesson or great story that may come out of the experience.
Confidence boost
Dating yourself gives a unique surge of confidence that cannot be quite exactly given from any “like,” makeover, or person for that matter. This reinforces that true happiness is found from within. Finding comfort and confidence with yourself is one of the most beautiful and attractive qualities that anyone can have.
Moments of self-discovery
During this alone time, we discover our likes, dislikes, and ambitions. Thus giving us the chance to nourish our passions, and focus on the areas of our life that need improvement. Also, we find out what is at the root of our relationship with ourselves and others. With deeper knowledge and understanding of the self, we gain clarity from knowing our own values, goals, and interests, and the qualities that we seek in a significant other.
Deeper sense of self-worth
Dedicating time for yourself comes along with learning how to care for yourself. Our perception of our own self-worth and self-esteem is heightened when we realize our true value. In realization of this, we are reminded that we deserve great care and expect that (in a healthy way) with our future significant other.