There is one interview question that I absolutely loathe: “What is your greatest weakness?” Not only because it forces me to divulge the less positive parts of myself to the person from whom I am indirectly begging for a job, but mostly because it warrants a cliche and condescending response. “Well, my greatest weakness is being a perfectionist,” I respond with a soft smirk, knowing full well that I am made up of many other quirks.
This response suggests that I lack the innate human ability to make mistakes. This is not only untrue but it also neglects the true toxicity of perfectionism. As a ‘real’ perfectionist, let me just say that striving to reach a state without a single flaw is less than glamorous. Even this, in my opinion, is an understatement.
Striving for greatness is empowering and motivating but it also acknowledges the many necessary mistakes made along the way. On the other hand, striving for perfection is toxic.
This is because setting impossible standards not only means trouble reaching these standards but also constant disappointment from not being able to. Yet, this puzzle built of unrealistic expectations is missing a piece: perfection is unattainable.
Now before you start to think that this article is getting caught in a negative downward spiral, let me just say this: set goals, dream big and believe in your ability to achieve greatness. There is nothing wrong with having high expectations for yourself because this positive mindset creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect to achieve great things, you have a greater likelihood of doing so but do not expect perfection.
Perfectionism fosters a superficial mentality, creating a ladder towards success without the rungs needed to climb it. In other words, it presents an end— perfection—without the means to achieve it. Spoiler alert: because reaching perfection is impossible.
This mindset does not allow for growth and change and it directly undermines the process necessary to achieve great things. A process that should allow for failure as a means to better understand success. A process that should regard steps backward as a necessary pre-condition to progressing forward. Rather than producing an opportunity to learn, hyper-focusing on perfection denies that mistakes and failure are human conditions, inhibiting any growth that results as a consequence of them.
Think about it this way: attending college should not be about getting straight A’s, it should be about educating yourself. Yes, the straight-A student exerts greater effort, meaning they are likely to learn more. However, this becomes toxic when not getting that A feels like a failure, even if the same amount of knowledge is gained or when getting that A becomes more important than learning.
I can remember many times where I have received a less-than-perfect grade on an exam or an essay and have thrust myself into a state of panic, feeling like I had failed and that I would not recover. And in reality, had I failed? Absolutely not. I had not even brushed the surface of any kind of failure.
I have a confession: these are moments when I received a “B.” So these reactions were not only unwarranted and illogical but they revealed my obsession with something insanely superficial— a grade on a report card. And even more ridiculous is the fact that this grade signified my “good” work. But when consumed by the idea of perfection, good is just not good enough. This mentality is often debilitating.
For starters, it often means being risk aversive, meaning that fear of failure inhibits risk-taking. However, playing-it-safe to ensure perfection means remaining in a state of mediocracy. A life lived in fear of failure does not allow room for success. Those unattainable expectations (the ones we talked about earlier) are placed even further out of reach because of the fear to even take action towards them in the first place.
To be clear, I must repeat again that striving for greatness and striving for perfection are two different things. Wanting to be the best version of yourself is not the same as wanting to be perfect.
This need for perfection produces “tunnel vision,” placing the importance of an end goal far above the course one has to run to achieve this goal. It also detracts value from the successes one has achieved because these achievements do not match their preconceived notions of success or their expectations of themselves.
At the age of seven, I had decided that I would attend Yale. This was my expectation for myself. To me, this was achieving perfection. However, as tenth-grade Algebra and my lack of gusto for becoming student body president took a tole on my Ivy League qualifications, college admissions season presented me with disappointment. Yet, in the process, I was forgetting the many things I had achieved: being the featured soloist of my A capella group or getting a 5 on the AP Government Exam (pro tip: learn to brag about yourself).
So, I have spent the last four years at UC Santa Barbara, one of the best public schools in the nation and arguably the most beautiful school to ever exist. And as a graduating senior I now realize not only that this was a massive accomplishment but that I could not be happier with being less-than-perfect.
