I have a profound love and respect for UC Santa Barbara and all of the intellectuals who attend; however, that being said, there are a good hand full of things I just don’t get. I’m sure a few of you out there will agree, but most of you will probably think I’m just an old lady (I’m only 24, okay!) out of touch with the trends of modern, college times! Before indulging in the list, I’d like to give a shout out the podcast that inspired me to write this very article. During the fall quarter of 2017, we introduced Naz Perez, who hosts a podcast with Bachelor alum Ashley Iaconetti called I Don’t It, where they (obviously) discuss the things they don’t get about the world in terms of dating, career, and so much more. Without further ado, here are all the things I don’t get about UCSB:
*Disclaimer: I don’t mean to sound as if I’m talking down on anyone, these are simply the things I personally don’t understand!
1. The Super Short (Booty Cheek) Shorts
I’m not talking about regular ol’ short-shorts, I’m talking about the shorts that show off exactly half of the booty. This is extremely common at UCSB, and I just don’t get it. I feel self-conscious when my leggings start to wedge up my crack, and I’m not even showing any skin. The girls who show up to school in these types of shorts have some undeniable confidence, that’s for sure.
2. The People Who Text Their Way Through the Entire Class
While I completely understand sending a text or two during lecture, I just can’t jump on board with the people who sit with their face in their phone throughout the entire class. Do you realize how much money that class actually costs? No, probably not.
3. The People Who Party 7 Days a Week (Including Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays)
What’s your major? Cause I’m trying to switch into it, considering it apparently doesn’t involve any work.
4. Serious College Relationships
I’m sorry if this makes me sound salty and bitter by any means, I just don’t get how couples can make it work through all the breaks, and then beyond graduation… unless both people are from nearby hometowns or planning on getting jobs in the same cities. It also seems pretty difficult to fit a relationship in between school work, jobs, a social life, etc, etc, etc. Also, where do these men who aren’t afraid of relationships hide? Cause all I’ve met are party-hungry-only-after-one-thing dogs… okay, okay, I’ll admit it, that one came out pretty salty and bitter. Kudos to anyone who can make it work despite all the challenges!
5.The People Who Roller Skate To Class
This is far from a bash. I totally love roller skating and admire those that skate around campus; however, I just don’t get what you do once you get to class. Either you must be rolling down the lecture hall or you’re taking off your smelly skates in the middle of class.
6. Everyone’s Obsession With Panda Express
I like Panda just as much as the next girl, but the fact that people are willing to wait in that crazy line for four chow mien noodles mixed in a slew of vegetables is beyond me.
7. The People Who Walk Around Barefoot
Okay, yes, we live in a beach town. That doesn’t mean it makes sense to roam around the dirty streets of Isla Vista sans shoes. No one wants to sit next to the privileged American kid without shoes on during class, it’s honestly pretty smelly and ridiculous.
8. The People Who Pull All Nighters In The Library
How is this physically possible? Midterm season is definitely a struggle, but are you some kind of robot that doesn’t require sleep?
9. The People Who Never Go Out
I’m not judging, in fact I respect it. I spent a weekend in here and there. I’m talking about the people who are all work and no play. The people who dedicate every second of their time to school. I don’t know what I’d do if I could never even take a day to kick back and relax. I need a little fun in my life to motivate me through the rest of the busy week.
10. The People Who Never Go To The Beach
Hello! The school literally sits on a cliff overlooking the ocean. From the farthest end of campus, it probably takes less than ten minutes to reach the water by foot, and that’s if you’re a particularly slow walker. Just sayin’.
All images courtesy of giphy.com