Sh*t Bros Say

Kids, as it is commonly thought, say the darndest things; but, as any college age female knows, guys have that territory covered as well. However, their quotables may not be tame enough for a prime time series hosted by Bill Cosby, so we have compiled a list of some gems! Here are some funny, weird, and WTF quotes–you can wince behind your computer screen and thank god you’re not dealing with this face-to-face.

“Just give it a kiss”–A very sly fraternity gentleman

“I just broke up with my girlfriend, (serious gaze) make me forget”–A bold date from last winter quarter’s formal

“You’re fat in all the right places”–A male who does not know the art of complimenting well

“Just spit on it, like you don’t give a f***!”–Ex-boyfriend turned stalker

“I bet I can find your nipples”–Anatomy study buddy

“You had big shoes to fill, and it turns out your feet are just too small”–Another ex-boyfriend, using a metaphor as a rather creative insult

“Why is your nail polish all chipped?”–Awkward guy who possesses zero social skills

“Do you want a banana to practice on?”–Endearing high school boyfriend just trying to help a sista out

“I know I’m only skin and bones,

But you with your long dark hair and dark brown eyes,

I just want to make you mine tonight.”–Guy with not a lot of rhetorical skills, texting poetry…and unquestionably, heavily intoxicated