If you were to open up my desk drawers, most of which are a hodgepodge of stuff, in my top drawer, which I classify as my beauty and care drawer, you would find among the scrunchies and oil blotting sheets my sad collection of makeup items: a couple of lipstick shades, some old but not quite expired mascara, and a very much expired concealer, or I think it is concealer. (My ignorance of what it speaks to my use of it.) I would say that I wear makeup maybe once or twice a month, and when I do it is only mascara. (My expired concealer, unfortunately, gets no use and continues to expire in my drawer.) I did not even start using mascara until my junior year of high school, and I would borrow my best friends makeup for school dances as she often did my face for me anyways. In my 18 years of life, I could likely count the number of times I have worn a full face of makeup on both my hands and not run out of fingers.
Though it started out based on my mother’s ban on makeup, through junior high, my makeup-free life eventually grew into a choice as I came into independence. That is not to say that I did not wish to be able to flawlessly apply eyeliner and contour like some other girls when I was younger. Today though, when I see someone with especially great makeup, I feel comfortable enough with my bare face that when I wish to replicate that makeup look, the wish is not to cover my face because I do not like it or belive makeup would make it more attractive, but rather my wish to wear makeup is more like how I wish for a new piece of jewelry or hair accessory. I do not see makeup as something necessary for a look, in the same way that I do not need jewelry to complete a look. Rather, my bare face itself is enough to stand alone. I view makeup now as more of a fashion piece and less of a way to cover up one’s “imperfections”.
Image via Peter DeVito
Living makeup-free though has brought me to a point where I actually find it hard to define my facial blemishes as “imperfections”. I know what my face looks like day to day without coverage, so dark spots or eye bags are commonplace, and that is just my face: nothing special or different. Not to say I am “holier than thou” or that acne does not bug me, since there are days when I break out and it totally ruins my mood. I do however try to not let these things bring me down too often and to keep in mind that acne is naturally occurring and that everyone gets it.
Surprisingly, social media actually helps me personally feel good in my choice of going without makeup. Those that I follow that are involved in the fashion world, where their bodies are the selling point, are all people who are pushing the idea of what is conventionally attractive. The few influencers I follow are also all good at posting on their stories the less photo-perfect moments of their life. So when I do open Instagram it is not a stream of foundation-caked, Facetuned influencers, but people who, if they are wildly photoshopped and airbrushed in their images, are at least upfront about it (e.g. Jameela Jamil who, despite sharing her 10-minute car makeup routine, somehow manages to have perfect skin even when makeup free).
Image via Peter DeVito
I do not think I will start wearing any more makeup than I already do any time soon. I do recognize though that this makeup-free life is nothing special and I do not think it makes me any different from someone who does wear makeup. Going without makeup is not something I find brave or even empowering. To me, it is just my face, and personally, I find my face alone to be enough.