Do you know how sometimes your friends tend to date boys who are…absolute trash? You all know the type of boys we’re talking about here: the overly jealous ones, the over-protective ones, the ones who somehow always find a way to justify their downright horrid behaviors. And you just know your friends deserve SO much better, but for some reason, they can’t see it. Well, you’re not alone in your frustrations, collegiettes. Some of my friends have picked some pretty terrible boyfriends throughout the years, and I’m here to tell you that there’s a little something to be learned from each of them. Here are 3 stories of some of the worst friends’ boyfriends I’ve come across.
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My first introduction to a truly disrespectful boy was during the tenth grade. My friend Molly*, was dating a boy who was about half her height and believed himself to be a tough gangster (I say this with a lot of trouble, because he wasn’t much of a “gangster” at all, except for the arrogance he carried as he walked, always seemingly ready to challenge someone to a fight). One weekend, Molly invited me to go to the movies with her, but really I was just a cover so she could meet up with her boyfriend, Andrew*. Andrew, unsurprisingly was late to the theater; he arrived about half-an-hour after Molly’s parents had dropped the two of us off. Then, while waiting in line to buy tickets for Sherlock Holmes, I heard a very uncomfortable whisper-yelling argument heating up between Molly and Andrew, who were standing just a couple of feet ahead of me. Molly inhaled deeply, stepped back towards me and whispered in embarrassment, “Bianca, can I borrow $10?” Apparently, Andrew had showed up late to the movie theater without any movie ticket money. But after the movie was where the real fun began. Andrew thought it would be a great idea to try to movie hop and sneak into a horror movie. Having really nowhere else to go, I went in with them. It took the usher about 30 seconds to find us and kick us out. Next, Andrew decided he felt like going home, so Molly and I reluctantly followed him on a 20-minute journey that ended with us sneaking into his backyard through a hole in a chain-link fence. He then perched on a stool and proceeded to roll a joint. He was concentrated, and then slowly looked up at me and gave me a wicked smile.
“You wanna try it, huh?”
I respectfully declined, but Molly said she did want try it. He said that he didn’t want her to be smoking, and then insisted that I should try it again. After some back and forth between the two, Molly got angry at him, and the two of us left back to the movie theater to wait for her dad to pick us up.
Lesson #1: NEVER date a boy who’s 1. over half-an-hour late to your date and 2. makes your friend pay for his date. Also, NEVER date a boy who smoke in front of you, offer your friend to smoke, and then try to lecture YOU about smoking. Chances are, there are many more ways in which he’s a hypocrite.
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My most dramatic introduction to a truly despicable man was during my second year in college. My roommate and friend, Jessica*, was dating a man about 12 years older than us. Two (just two!!) weeks into their relationship, they got into a big argument, because he was convinced she had been cheating on him (despite the fact that she spent, you know, 95% of her time with him). She was crying hysterically in our dorm room as our friend and I tried to comfort her, when suddenly we heard a man’s voice screaming her name from outside. We looked out the window, and lo and behold, this guy was standing out there, hands cupped around his mouth, screaming “Jessicaaaaaa!” towards our dorm room window. My friend and I ran downstairs and started yelling at this grown-ass man, trying to get him to understand why it was inappropriate for a 30-something-year-old to be on a college campus, screaming the name of a 19-year-old girl. Eventually RAs showed up and threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave. Our friends and I spent the rest of night trying to calm Jessica down, telling her that if a man was this disrespectful and this insane, he was not worth even a second of her time. It didn’t work. They got back together within two days, and as I would learn later on, that incident was only the tip of the iceberg.
Lesson #2: NEVER date a man who dramatically accuses you of cheating and then shows up at your window in the middle of the night. Real life relationships aren’t based on creepy young adult novel clichés.
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My most surprising introduction to a man who truly is – for lack of a better word – garbage was during my fourth year of college. Actually, I had known him since I first moved to college. He had been in a long-term relationship with a girl from his high school. She was clearly in love with him, and he seemed in love with her too…for a while. At the start of our fourth year, this boy, James*, had adopted an entire new roster of philosophies and priorities (his girlfriend no longer was one). He began experimenting with drinking…and other girls. When I asked him why he didn’t either commit to his girlfriend or break it off with her completely, his response was, “Well, I think that if we’re meant to be together in the long run, none of this is going to matter. We’re still going to end up together anyway, so what’s the harm?” I must admit that this was the first time in my life in which I truly struggled not slap a man.
Lesson #3: NEVER date a man who adopts his own forms of logic and morality. He will end up being a colossal disappointment.
*Names have been changed.