Like, Literally: The Female Phrasebook

Just listen to a few seconds of a conversation between a group of girls energized by one too many Skinny Vanilla Lattes and you'll realize that we have own highly codified language. It's, like, honestly super complicated, so here's the breakdown: 

1. "I can’t even"

Usage: This phrase is used during moments when we are overwhelmed with ridiculous amounts of emotion. In reality, we should probably finish our thought by saying something more explanatory like "I can’t even comprehend the absurdity of the present situation" or "I can't even express my true feelings regarding this preposterous conundrum at the moment." This way, people would actually understand what you are unable to even, but no. That's not how it works. You are so speechless that you can't even finish your sentence. You just can't even.

Example: Starbucks just announced that the Pumpkin Spice Latte will be available 3 days earlier than last year and I can't even right now.

2. "I’m dying"

Usage: See also: "I can't even"

Example: Oh my God. A picture of me at Coachella made it onto the Free People blog. I'm dying.

3. "I feel like"

Usage: I don't know about you, but I feel like I use this phrase all the time. It pretty much means, "Pay attention to me because I’m about to state my personal opinion and you should agree with it." But instead of saying something like "I feel like the economic stimulus plan needs to place more importance on state and local infrastructure and less on fiscal spending," it usually ends up being something along the lines of the example below.

Example: I feel like the Instagram photos I edit with VSCO Cam get way more likes than the ones I edit with Afterlight.

4. "Honestly"

Usage: Similar to 'I feel like,' this word lets people know that an extremely important and perhaps life-changing personal opinion is coming their way. You don’t just hate chevron print – you honestly hate chevron print. You don't just need a new Lululemon yoga mat tote, you honestly need a new Lululemon yoga mat tote.

Example: I'm honestly so tired of my Instagram bio. Time to find a new Ghandi quote.

5. "Literally"

Usage: What was once a word used to describe things that are in fact literal is now used by females to emphasize all things non-literal. Instead of using 'literally' to tell it like it is, we use it to internsify something that didn't actually happen because we like breaking grammar rules and being scandalous.

Example: I literally just ate my body weight in Chipotle.

6. "Wait"

Usage: Using 'wait' to introduce a question means that you're pretty confused. You also probably have to take a moment to stop what you're doing and use a sassy hand gesture to further emphasize this confusion.

Example: Wait, why does the selfie I posted an hour ago only have 14 likes?

7. "Perf"

Usage: This abbreviated form of 'perfect' is usually reserved for commenting on your friend's profile picture of herself casually sipping a latte while studying abroad in Europe.

Example: That floral romper. [heart eyes Emoji] You're too perf, babe.

8. "Is that even a thing?"

Usage: This basically translates to "Is that even relevant?" But 'relevant' has three syllables and 'a thing' only has two, and we wouldn't want to waste valuable time and put extra strain on our mouth muscles.

Example: Are midi rings still a thing?

9. "Like"

Usage: Ah, 'like': so versatile, yet so unnecessary. We use it for emphasize, in place of the word 'said,' and after almost every single word when we're not really sure where our sentence is going.

Example: It's, like, so frustrating, when, like, girls are always like, “Like.”