Life After Long Distance

Reunion. It’s the word that shapes every long-distance couple’s dreams. The moment when you finally bring your relationship into real time, in one location. Together. But it isn’t that easy.

Long distance relationships are really difficult, and anyone who has been in one will agree with me. It's not for everyone. Having a lot of experience with long distance, I was excited to finally end this chapter of my relationship. But I have to admit, it unfolded differently than I originally envisioned. Moving through this journey together with my partner, I realized that happiness also comes with more challenges than we sometimes anticipate.

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Here are the top five things that you might encounter when you finally reunite with your honey:

 

  1. 1. Coordinating time together is just as hard as before.

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    While it may be hard to find time as a long distance couple, many people forget the sheer amount of time they spend alone when in a LDR. For example, if you see each other on weekends, you still have five days of freedom in your schedule. You aren’t accountable to make physical time to spend with your partner and have a lot more you time. Sure, maybe you call each other or FaceTime every day, but that's different from finding time to sit down and eat dinner together, do the things you need to do for yourself, and still honor commitments in your professional life with school or work.

  2. 2. You have to get used to each other again.

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    You may have read the sentence above and said to yourself, “I know my partner front and back, what is she talking about?” Just wait.

    Seeing your partner every few days, weeks, or even months is simply different from seeing them every single day or cohabiting with them. You know those annoying things your roommate does that makes you want to yell at them? Yep, you will have those moments with your partner when you move in or spend extended amounts of time together. Fear not, this is totally normal! As long as you focus on healthy communication and being honest with your feelings, these small details can be worked out.

     

  3. 3. Things change in the bedroom.

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    You might want to deny this one too, and that’s alright... because it’s awkward. You might think when you and your partner see each other more that you will naturally go at it like bunnies. And that is probably true.

    However, sex is an adjustment just like everything else! Going from sex once every few weeks or months to more frequent sex is going to feel different. It's important to listen to the way you and your partner feel. Do not pressure yourself to have sex more than you actually want to just for the sake of it or because you feel like you should. Quality over quantity, friends. If that means a lot, go for it! But if not, don’t be afraid to talk about it and find a healthy sweet spot that works for the both of you.

  4. 4. You might argue more.

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    Think about this: if you are with your sibling or even best friend for a week straight, do you really believe you won’t fight at least a little bit? That’s right, you will!

    The same goes for being with your partner all the time after a long time apart. With all the adjusting that comes with getting used to a new lifestyle, tension can brew and arguments can come up. But that’s okay. As with all other issues, talking things out goes a long way, especially in a crucial time when you are getting used to your new life with a partner.

  5. 5. You learn more about each other and become stronger.

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    Despite the initial adjustment period, reuniting with your partner is as wonderful as it seems and it can be really beneficial to any couple as long as healthy communication is emphasized.

    More time together naturally equates to a stronger bond and more great memories together. And working through difficult situations or periods in any relationship can help you grow as a couple and come out on the other end more cohesive and supportive.